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Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Left alone to think, get my bearings, develop an action plan. Instead I feel suffocated. And then I develop pent-up rage. Yes, I know sometimes that's unreasonable. I recognize that the people I'm most likely to take my anger out on aren't the ones responsible for said anger so I let it build up and take it out on drivers that piss me off by flipping them the bird.

Sometimes I want to throw my cellphone into the wall. Leave me alone. I don't need to hear how your life is. I'm sure it's fabulous. I'm sure part of the fabulousness is at my expense. Literally.

Today is one of those days where I just want people gone, just want people to leave me alone, just want people to get out of my way, just want people to fuck off.

Yes, that's unreasonable.

But then so are some of the pressures put on me.

And there's bound to be blow back as a result.

Ironically this has nothing to do with my brother and his family being here. It's been a nice visit. But I just need time to myself. I can't develop a plan with my mind being pulled in a million different directions.

Even the damn cat is pissing me off. I wish my roommate would take the fucking time to brush the stupid cat's fur so she's not coughing up furballs all over the fucking place. It's not that hard. You sit there and watch tv for an hour petting the stupid cat, why not do it with a brush?

See? Stupid shit is pissing me off right now and it has nothing to do with hormones. It has everything to do with life sucking sometimes.

I thought maybe I'd have the weekend to myself but my roommate's decided to come home early and are probably going to be back today after being scheduled to return on Sunday. So I won't even have the weekend.

Life fucking sucks sometimes.

And what's with all this bullshit about loving someone to death. Why not loving someone to life? Why wait until death or to death to love someone completely?

The dog's barking now. Even he's pissing me off. I've threatened to muzzle him. I wish I could muzzle a whole lot of other people too.

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About me

  • Grace
  • British Columbia, Canada
  • jealous, insecure,narcissistic, paranoid, and delusional
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Grace 2006
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