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It takes a lot for me to cancel a trip. In fact, I've never cancelled a trip before. I haven't felt all that great travelling sometimes but figured I'd always recover before arriving at my destination because it's usually just a cold.

I'm 2 hours away from cancelling this trip to Ottawa. I slept for maybe an hour and woke up with the chills and then the vomitting commenced. Attractive, I know.

I looked at maybe changing the flight to a later one, something entirely possible, but I don't think I'm going to have a miraculous recovery for whatever is kicking my ass right now.

If the only reason I'm thinking of going is to accumulate airmiles, I don't have my priorities in order.

My flight leaves in four hours. The vomitting hasn't stopped and to put my Mom's mind at ease and maybe provide relief for my empty stomach, I'm going to see a doctor first thing in the morning.

I'm also going to see if I can participate in tomorrow and Thursday's meeting via conference call.

It isn't cheap to fly to Ottawa and my company is probably going to have to bite the bullet on the travel costs but people have cancelled before due to illness.

I've also, on numerous times, condemned people for travelling while ill. I should follow my own rules.

Yes, I'm trying to convince myself to cancel.

My desire to please everyone all the time sucks.

I really have to practice the, "it's all about me approach".

I wish I were home so my Mom could take care of me.

Currently, I'm all by myself and will be for the rest of this week which totally sucks. At least when my roommate's here she always checks in on me to make sure I have everything I need. What I need most right now though, is sleep.

About the wedding. I think I mentioned before the eagle that followed us to the hometown of my cousin when he passed away.

Throughout the day of the wedding, from outside the hotel we were getting ready at, to the Church, and to the reception, there were eagles abound. This was after my aunt had a dream about her parents for the first time ever. They were so busy. She asked them what they were doing and they smiled and said, "We're getting ready." She never wanted to wake up. She cried when she did. They were the eagles. Some people may not believe that but there were eagles representing every loved one that passed since my sister was born.

The day after the wedding we stopped off at the graveyard to see where my Dad's Mom and a variety of his relatives were buried, along with my Mom's parents, her brother, her uncle and my cousin.

I don't know if I mentioned this but when my Grandfather passed away, my Mom and I went up to his graveyard and there stood, not too far from their graves (he and my Grandmother are buried beside each other) were two deer, not eating or anything, but just staring at us. When we left, they took a step towards the car and bowed their heads. It was then my Mom knew that her parents were okay and reunited.

The day after the wedding, there again, were two deer, just standing there watching us.

The Church my sister got married in has held so many sad memories of too many funerals we've attended of too many people who passed away before they had a chance to really live.

For her wedding, the sadness came full circle to happiness.

My Grandparents did a bang up job getting ready. For a place that has extreme weather conditions at all times, we couldn't have asked for three fantastic days of weather.

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About me

  • Grace
  • British Columbia, Canada
  • jealous, insecure,narcissistic, paranoid, and delusional
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Grace 2006
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