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Dear Weirdo,

It probably is cute that you still "peak in" on this, but it's also kind of creepy. ;)

Dear Jerk,

You and I both know I HATE it when you say, "I'll call you later" because we both know it's a LIE! I don't care that you don't call me later. We both know that too. I'm usually too busy to answer anyway. So don't say it! We end up ruining a good conversation with angry rants and name calling.

Dear Friend,

I'm at a loss of what to say to you because I'm afraid of what you might say back.

Dear Foe,

I am super pissed with you. You say you're going to wear your jersey on game day and since you started wearing it on game days and listening to the game, they haven't lost and then you post pictures of you NOT WEARING IT on the day of the big game and they lose. I should have titled this, "Dear Fraud".

Dear Boot Camp,

I hate you more than I hate the Flames. Seriously. But not more than I hate the canucks. But close. Very close. I hate that I paid 3 months for this sheer torture. I hate that the trainer is so nice to me. If she was a complete bitch, I wouldn't give a damn that I paid for it, I'd just stop going and eat a bag of doritos. But she is nice and for some reason I don't want to disappoint her so I keep on going even though I'm sore for 4 weeks. And because it works. That's the fucking wrong thing about it. Yeah, I'm still wearing the same jeans but it's because I refuse to spend money on clothes that I may grow out of. I'm down a jean size. So I'll keep going, keep wanting to die. It's good for me. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Dear Oilers,

There are very few things I've loved in this world. Family, friends, good guys and bad guys. Most of the love I have is conditional. Like my love for the NE Patriots. That ended as it wasn't true love.

My love for you though is true. I will love you forever. But if you suck, I'm going to tell you that you suck. Because that's what love is. Honest. And I have to tell you, you're kind of sucking right now. But at least you're giving it your all with what you have, you blessful young team.

Dear Hair,

Please stop growing until I can get you properly cut. I just haven't had the time.

Dear Vancouver Real Estate Market,

Fuck off. I'm not buying at this overinflated market price. Especially since the piece of crap 2 doors down was not even on the market for a month and sold for $600k. It's a piece of crap. The people buying it probably can't afford to live there. They'll be working forever and will never enjoy and there'll be a slump in the market and what they've paid now isn't what it'll be worth 3 years from now and they'll want to cry.

Dear Ottawa,

Stop tempting me with job offers. I might take you up on it and then we're all screwed.

Dear Toronto Blue Jays,

Please have a great season.

Dear Canucks,

Fuck off and miss the playoffs so your holier than thou fans can all get emo and cry like the bitches they are.

Dear Me,

If you want to eat a piece of chocolate cake, eat a fucking piece of chocolate cake.

Dear Wisconsin,

Thank you, Wisconsin! (and Hawaii too)

Dear Room,

Yes, I know I need to clean and do laundry. But I've been on the road. And then I've been busy planning a wedding. And I know those are excuses. But I'm hitting the road next week and ironically I clean up before I leave and not when I'm here. Patience, please.

Dear Hillary,

Give it up, please. Your rhetoric and speeches are old. Enough with the "ready from day one" Anyone who wins the presidential race will be "ready on day one" It's not just a president, it's the team behind the president. You're lucky I can't vote because I certainly wouldn't vote for your tired campaign slogans

Dear Slow Drivers in the Fast Lane,


Dear Lost,

I'm trying to catch up on what's happening from season 1 before I start watching season 4. Have patience, I'll get there.

Dear Air Canada,

If I'm paying for an upgrade that's twice what the regular fare is, YOU BETTER GIVE ME THE UPGRADE!

Dear Work,

You're freakin' tiring me out.


PS: FCCUUUUUUUKKKKKKKK!!!!! We attend these quarterly meetings and the last meeting was supposed to be here in Vancouver. It was cancelled due to people's "busy" schedules. So, now it's re-scheduled to the beginning of April in Ottawa. Problem? I just agreed to sell my Oilers tickets to the last home game of Ryan Smyth in Edmonton. The Avalanche will be here the day I'm supposed to fly out. The Oilers will be here, for their FINAL game against the Canucks of the season, the day of the last meeting in Ottawa. The Oilers should take priority. I'm now looking at doing something I hate doing. Leaving a meeting before it's over so I can fly back that night and rush to the game. And I only know this, not because I memorize the Oilers schedule, but because I put all Oilers/Avs games in Vancouver in my work calendar to ensure no travelling on those dates. FFFFCCCUUUUUUUKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

PPS: I just checked. I can fly out and miss the Avs game (which means I'll probably go to the Avs game next week) and attend the morning session of the meeting in Ottawa and fly out at 2 and still make it to the game at 7:30, barring flight delays, etc., which means I'll have to get tickets and pick them up AND leave them with someone in case of flight delays. Because you just know, if given the opportunity, Air Canada will screw me over. This is how much I love the Oilers.

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About me

  • Grace
  • British Columbia, Canada
  • jealous, insecure,narcissistic, paranoid, and delusional
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Grace 2006
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