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So, a friend of mine was hosting a meeting today and I had all of these plans of leaving early since she'd understand so I can catch an early flight to Calgary and make it there in time to catch the end of the Oilers/Leafs game.

No sense in making plans.

Here I sit, at YVR, 5:52 pm, waiting for my 6:55 flight to Calgary as I ended up staying at the meeting until the very end. I'll miss the Oilers game tonight and I'll also miss Survivor, The Office, and ER.

When I got to the meeting, my friend said, "I need to talk to you at break." So, as soon as coffee break was announced, I approached her, she grabbed this dude and introduced us.

"Here's the person I've been talking to you about." Huh?

I'm being "head hunted" for a position within government. A pretty big position that would be a fair bit more than I make right now. In fact, almost double what I make right now and I make a pretty decent living.

The problem is I'd have to leave Vancouver. The problem is it's a very attractive offer. With a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility.

What I'd make in two years of working in said position would entitle me to a very nice nest egg and from a financial aspect I'm crazy not to take it.

But then it's never been all about the money, it's about the work.

When I sit back and think of the job I'm doing, it's with a lot of honour. I represent a voice that doesn't get heard, and I make sure people hear them.

I sit in meetings and am the voice of people that society forgets. And when society does remember, it's with venom.

Plus I believe in loyalty. My supervisor is a great person. If I left, it'd leave a big hole for her to try fill and I don't believe in treating people that way.

The flip side is we've hired a junior employee to take over some of my responsibilities so I can focus on big picture stuff. However, I can also view it as someone I'm training to eventually take over my position so I can entertain the thoughts of leaving one day.

Who knows.

Some days it's, "No never" and other days is, "When can I start?"

Sitting in these meetings, we had to discuss various topics and the facilitator was walking the room.

I guess some of the comments I made lead her to believe I'm a genius and she wanted me to speak and give final thoughts about the day and where we're going.

I accepted, not knowing my big boss, the head of our entire organization, was also going to show up and offer final thoughts.

When I was being introduced, the introduction was something I don't think accurately represents me. She said I was brilliant, and that in 10 years look out, I could be running various organizations and leading the charge.

So what happens? I fall on my face.

I have a certain image I have to uphold. People are a bit intimidated by me at meetings because I tend to hold them accountable, question their thinking, get them to focus on other areas.

And I broke down.

I started thinking of my Great-Grandmother, my Grandfather, my Grandmother. Every force that gives me the drive to get up in the morning and do the job I have to do on days I just don't want to do it.

So I got emotional.

I freakin' hate it when I get emotional. And to get emotional in front of my boss too! That freakin' sucks.

I was told later by many people that it was such a heart warming speech. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Now they know I'm human. Now they know a weakness.

But I have been blessed in this life. I've been blessed because since birth, I've been surrounded by amazing, strong survivors. People born in this country who had to fight just to survive, against government, against people, against systems that tried to destroy them.

And they didn't grow bitter, or jaded, or greedy. They just loved unconditionally. They loved me unconditionally, and even though they were taken from me far too soon, they taught me that I deserved to be loved. And to never settle, and to never go silently into the night.

My family has never been rich, financially. I will never be willed vast amounts of money.

But when I wake up in the morning, it's with the knowledge that we have a rich history, a rich culture, an emotionally rich and present family.

Not many people can say that.


The Oilers play the Leafs, and I am a bit ticked I can't watch it. But my sister's promised to record it for me. And Survivor. And The Office. And ER.

Monday, I get quality time alone with my younger niece and nephew so I can't wait to further brainwash them about the Oilers.

That's going to be fun. My suitcase has three Oilers jerseys in it. And about 5 Oiler toothbrushes.

And the Oilers just released a greatest games dvd collection. So I can't wait to pick that up and relive history.

Then Tuesday it's nose back to the grindstone and carrying on with the long task ahead. A few days at home, another flight to Ottawa, another flight home. Another journey.

But we are going to Cuba in February. That is for certain. I have enough holidays saved up to be able to take a week or two off.

And I won't feel guilty.

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About me

  • Grace
  • British Columbia, Canada
  • jealous, insecure,narcissistic, paranoid, and delusional
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