Jedi Master B*tch

2009.015

2009-06-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Read: barely at all. First it was the heat, then it was/is stress.

I'm told I don't "express my feelings" enough. WHAT THE FUCK??? Oh right. I blog my feelings a lot.

In all honesty, it's much, much easier for me to smile and nod or shrug my shoulders and walk away than it is to tell people they're fucking idiots and to leave me the hell alone with their stupidity.

Because at the end of the day, I don't like hurting people. Is it because I've been hurt a lot myself that I would never want to bestow feeling absolutely shitty about one's self onto others? Who the hell knows. I love a good debate, I hate bad arguments.

I've also found that I'm isolating myself from people. I'm not sure the reason. I have emails I haven't responded to. What do you say? What can be said? Some are just digging for information, others don't really have anything to reply back to save for acknowledging receipt.

I think I'm officially tired of this line of work I'm doing. I don't have the passion anymore. Or the autonomy. As much as my old job pissed me off with how things ended, they really did give me a lot of leeway to do my own thing.

I got in trouble for booking my own travel. It's always the little things that piss you off the most. Sure, it's charged to my visa. Sure I prefer it that way. I get the points for booking it online and then more points for actually flying.

I'm tired of putting off plans for various reasons. I didn't go to Las Vegas because I was going to England to see the Dave Matthews Band.

I didn't buy tickets to see DMB at The Gorge because I was going to see them in England.

Now I might not be able to see them in England (in 2 weeks) because I'm unemployed. Why be responsible? People who have less money than I do seem to be living a better life than I am. Why shouldn't I just say to heck with it and book a trip. For airfare and accommodations, it'd probably cost me $3,000.00 for 3 nights in London. One of those nights would be seeing The Boss and DMB. And it'd hit my quota of visiting a new place this year. The potential settlement to my lawsuit would then pay for such a trip, like it was supposed to had I not been booted from my job unceremoniously.

Speaking of the boot, apparently there's a lot of regret over me not being there anymore. DUH! I freakin' rocked. I still do. Even when I fake passion for the work I'm doing, I'm still doing a good job. Maybe that's why I feel it's a rut.

I'm thinking of rocking unemployment for the summer and work on evening out my tan.

I just want a good night's sleep.

2009.014

2009-05-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

Wow, pretty damn close to halfway through the year already.

Here's a girlie post. It's about emotions and feelings and anger.

One of my favourite movies is "Love Actually". One of my favourite scenes is where Keira Knightley opens her door and her husband's best friend is there with signs like, "To me you are perfect".

I think I've only met one perfect person and he was perfect because of his imperfections.

If you were to believe in the concept or the ideology of love, and that you only have one chance at it, and that chance passed you by, what do you do with the rest of your life?

What is love anyway? Separate "love" from "lust" and "desire" what does it mean today?

Now the caveat to all of this is I'm happy where I am.

I've just had a recent influx of people from my past coming back into my life for various reasons and it's quite odd.

I'm an analyzer by nerdiness. I like disecting and getting to the crux of issues and figuring out what makes it tick.

But what I am tired of is being someone's "Plan B". Good ole reliable jedi will always be there when I need her. NEED. I hate the word "need".

How about you want friends in your life instead of needing them to validate parts of you?

And if you think racism doesn't exist in this country look at people's facebook pages and twitter feeds.

It's disgusting and those that are supposedly tree hugging left wing commies, you'd figure they'd know better. You're on the fucking internet so I'm pretty sure you're capable of googling facts instead of passing along fiction.

And the silence you choose to keep makes you just as guilty as those who speak their perceived truths.

I've stopped talking to a lot of people this past month. Because I'm tired of bullshit and I'm tired of their self-perceived superiority. From someone who's had to work twice as hard to keep up, I am tired of those who feel they're entitled to things because they worked oh so hard.

My biggest fear, apart from losing those I love, is that all the progress I've made these past couple of years will disappear with a simple hello.

PS: I'm thinking of moving to Ottawa. Don't tell anyone.

2009.013

2009-04-20T22:15:00.001-07:00

I'm back from my vacation. Unemployment for one day since I was on "vacation" until today. I spent the day trying not to get depressed.

The work I did was/is work I loved. I'm going to miss it. There's a meeting tomorrow with one of my pet projects that I won't be attending now. The fruits of my labour coming to fruition and someone else will take the glory. That freakin' pisses me off.

Apparently my dismissal/resignation has started making the rounds with many different people wanting to know the story from those they think have the answers.

I was actually invited to tomorrow's meeting. Someone attending thought it would make a big splash into my new position.

The day after I was dismissed/resigned, I was talking with the department head of one of our partners to let her know and she offered me contract work the day I returned.

She sent me a message this morning wanting a meeting with me at 1:30 today but I decided to spend the day being angry and depressed and spent most of it in bed then part of it at the movies. I returned her call when I got home. She wanted me to go on her behalf to the meeting tomorrow because I know the file backwards and forwards and my former boss/friend will be there and she probably has no clue since she never read any of my emails on the subject and what we should do so it would have been amusing to attend and be sitting on the other side of the table.

But I'm still pissed off and irritated. So instead I'll be developing templates and questionnaires for interviews I'll be conducting for the contract work I'll be doing.

I'm supposed to return all of my equipment and files by last Friday. I think they expect me to bring them in. I'm not going to. I'm going to box them up and then have them send someone to pick them up. Since I'm no longer in their employ, I'm not driving the 40 km return trip to the office on my time.

A friend of mine is also getting me free legal advice. There's a contract that was signed for employment that should be honoured.

Now that I'm on contracting hours, I'll actually be making more than I was before. Without the benefits but the benefits weren't that great to begin with.

I am going to miss my blackberry. I spent the day deleting gmail and twitterberry from it along with other programs and personal contact information. I might buy the storm and just upgrade my personal hardware. But that sucks.

2009.012

2009-04-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

Good news! I'll have more time to blog! I'm unemployed!

Work got stupid the last few months and I started asking far too many questions and I ended up unemployed.

I didn't quit, and I wasn't fired. Figure that one out and you'll get a glimpse as to the dysfunction.

All while I'm on vacation!

Gone are the crazy trips all over the country, insomnia, fighting with gov't officials, fighting with other provinces.

It's a bit of a relief. It's a lot of comical.

It'll eventually involve a settlement if not a lawsuit.

People are shocked. I've been getting emails from (former) co-workers freaking out wondering what they could do. Some have offered to mediate and others have asked who they can talk to.

I'm just fed up. Even if there was a way back - and I'm sure there are at least a dozen - I don't want to go back.

It was too tiring. I had far too big of a workload that I was working every moment I was awake.

As for the future, one of the people I know is looking for contractors and she wanted me to start asap.

The problem is I'm on vacation right now. From a job I thought I could return to. Apparently asking your boss for vacation isn't a sign you want to return.

Really, the story is far more complicated than this.

Suffice it to say, I'm happy with everything I did. I loved the job I did. I'll miss the work, I won't miss the drama.

And there's a pretty good job waiting for me if I choose to accept it. I'm still going to Europe in June. I'll still have a steady income. Probably stronger job security that'll involve a pension - unlike the current/former job did.

Could I be anymore cryptic? Probably!

I'll finish off this "vacation" I planned, go back Saturday, begin again at a new place.

Oddly enough, because of the new (possible/pending) job, I'll still be working with the people I work with now. Which is going to be awkward for them, amusing for me.

2009.011

2009-03-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

Here I am. In Ottawa. Should be packing. Have a long flight back to Vancouver via Toronto.

This "might" be my last trip to Ottawa.

It's not that I don't like these trips, I actually do.

But I'm starting to not so much like shit happening at the office.

I took this job with no job security because I thought it'd be a fantastic opportunity.

It has been.

Then they hired someone that I just can't work with. And I can work with anyone.

And it's not how she treats me. I don't work out of the office. It's how she treats others. She's made people cry, she's humiliated them, she's demeaned them. She's made them feel less than.

She has made my job a bit more difficult too. I have to go play clean-up at some meetings that she's really effed our relationships up with.

I'd always said, if she's still working for us by the next fiscal year, there's a chance I wouldn't be.

She's going to be here next fiscal year.

I'm not getting a raise. My workload is enough to make me cry if I sat back and thought about it. I haven't been able to sit back and think about it. Because I'm too busy.

Even in this economy I've been getting job offers from all over this country. From organizations who are embarking on the same work we're doing. Sadly none of those are in Edmonton.

So here it is, 5:50 am, and I'm getting ready for a flight back and tired as all hell, I have over 100 hours of overtime racked up and I just want to go back to bed but no, there's a lot of work to do.

I know someone who works for an organization who keeps telling me they'd love to have me. They need me. She's trying to revamp their budget and offer me a job. I've told her what kind of salary I'm looking for. She's agreed that's what I'm worth.

Once that happens it'll be an easier work schedule. 9 to 5 so to speak. Not this 6 - 6 that I seem to work because of eastern time zones.

I've told a couple of people at work about the possibility I'll be leaving and they don't really believe me/don't want to believe me.

There's still some clean up I'll have to do. I figure maybe by the beginning of July. Why? I have a lot of overtime hours to use and holidays to take. I worked hard for them so I want to make sure I take advantage of them.

I do love my job. But if these trips to Winnipeg, Saskatchewan, Ottawa, etc. came with a salary that matched, and if a certain person was called on her b.s., I'd be inclined to stay. But it doesn't look like it'll happen.

We'll see.

Right now, I have a plane to catch.

She's lied, she's

2009.2010

2009-03-23T07:19:00.001-07:00

You know what I'm absolutely sick of?

People's sense of entitlement.

You see it everywhere. Especially in meetings.

You want to be handed a buttload of cash because you specialize in something and by holding the cash you hold the rules and with that, you hold the terms, and with that you hold the authority.

It happened in Winnipeg last week. We had this meeting with this agency that has all the money. A LOT of it. And they wanted to develop a plan for working with us.

And they brought an organization in who doesn't like working with this. I know this because I was given the third degree at a meeting with them over a month ago and I left angrier than I've ever been in years. Swearing and wanting to punch someone in the face angry. I only usually get that way over hockey.

However, sad to say, I'm used to working with people like that. I'm used to being treated like someone they must entertain only because it would be uncivilized not to. They'd rather not be accountable.

After day 1 of the meeting I started hatching a plan on how to get through to these people. I came up with it and decided to take control on day 2. And my plan was evil genius. Right off the bat, I shut them down and shut them up.

Nothing pisses me off more than people who think that because they exist, they're born into a certain entitlement.

Yeah, sure buddy, the world will just come to you and give you everything you want. Work for it. I've had to. Nothing has ever been handed to me. I've worked hard, and continue to do so, for everything I have. And it means nothing to me. If I was in a car crash tomorrow, my nice vehicle would be toast but it's just a car.

Not that I'm a martyr. I do something, it has my name on it, but for the most part, I'm not looking for glory, I'm looking for results.

2009.009

2009-03-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

Long time no type! Catch me on twitter. All I have time for is 140 letters for micro-blogging.

This weekend I took off early on Friday, as in before noon, picked up a friend and drove to Portland, Oregon. It's about a 5 hour drive south, not including border wait times.

I love Portland. No taxes, no drama, pretty care-free. We stayed downtown and shopped. Then we drove further south to an outlet mall and went bat crazy.

Thank baby Jesus that our limit increased for trips over 48 hours to $400 per person.

Then we drove closer north last night and spent the morning shopping.

Now I'm home, looking through my purchases and seeing what I don't really want to ship off to family that'll make use of them. Like the chunky heeled shoes.

I'm debating travelling to Victoria tomorrow night and stay overnight for a meeting I have Tuesday. I have to leave Wednesday for Winnipeg, back Friday night.

The week after I'm going to Ottawa. Fun! /end fake excitement

I am going to London for fun. Dave Matthews and Bruce Springsteen in Hyde Park in June. We're going to also check out either Scotland or Ireland. Depends on where the wind takes us. We're only going for two weeks. That's all the time a friend can take off her highly stressful high level job.

2009.008

2009-02-23T10:33:00.000-08:00

Oh. My. God. I. Have. A. Blog!

I keep forgetting about it, I know. That's not true. I just don't have anything to blog about.

I've been home the entire month of February, no travelling, no rushing to the airport, no checking into hotels, no meetings in other cities.

I do have a rant on people who have pissed me off lately:

Top of the list would be my roommates:

1. We bought house insurance. It cost us $124 each.
2. We ordered the entire season of Canucks PPV. It cost me $140. I don't watch the Canucks. Ever. Unless of course they're playing the Oilers because I always watch the Oilers. Watching the Canucks play the Oilers isn't because I like the Canucks it's because I'm watching the Oilers and don't care who they're playing. Get it?

Anyway, they start harping me about the house insurance. I gently remind them they still owe me for the Canucks PPV. They don't get it. Still want the $124. Even though they owe me $140.

The satellite is in my name. I ordered the Canucks PPV because they always watch that fucking team.

I ordered NHL Centre Ice because it's the only way I get to watch the Oilers all the time.

My cousin's husband isn't an Oilers fan. He watches the Oilers. When he watches the Oilers, the Oilers lose. I'm 95% positive it's because he's watching. He knows I hate it when he watches. I've said it time and again. He's fucking pissing me off.

I paid for NHL Centre Ice because they said I'd be the only one watching. It cost me $149. If I'm the only one watching why is he FUCKING WATCHING THE OILERS?!

I've also witnessed him watching other games. So shouldn't we be splitting the cost? So far it's almost $300 by myself for watching programs we all watch but I was harassed for the house insurance even though I told them how much they owed me for the Canucks.

Reason #1000 for being pissed off with roomie:

My Dad dropped his cellphone and it cracked the face. He can't read text messages, so I can't send him text messages anymore. Over Christmas, I was going to give him my old cellphone.

But, roommated thought he lost his in Mexico and needed a phone. He saw mine laying around so kept asking for it so he wouldn't have to pay for a new one.

I felt bad for not saying yes so I gave it to him. He actually found his cellphone in his suitcase (shouldn't you look there before saying you lost it?) but it also had a cracked face since he dropped it and didn't bother switching back since mine was better.

Well, apparently there was a recall on the phone so he went into Bell and exchanged my phone for a brand new one for himself, not feeling guilty at all, even knowing that I wanted to give the phone to my Dad and getting himself a brand spanking new one.

While I was cooking dinner yesterday he had the nerve to show me his brand new phone that cost him absolutely fucking nothing while I'm sitting on $300 it cost me to watch hockey and while my Dad still has a cracked cellphone.

My Dad says he doesn't need a new one anyway. Of course he'd say that. But when my Dad was in service areas, he'd send these funny text messages and I miss those so I'm really fucking pissed off.

And the internet connection too. I pay for that, they pay nothing. They have two computers that use the connection. Man, I've been tempted to change the security code for wireless and move the modem to my room and make them start paying.

They have no problems asking me for money when they feel I owe them something but the second I tell them how much I paid for something I'm met with silence.

I realize part of it is my fault. I'm not pushy at all when it comes to cash. Yeah. I make a fair bit of it. It's allowed me to do things, buy things, etc. But I work hard. My day doesn't end at 4:30 and it doesn't start at 8:30. I get emails from back east at 5:30 in the morning. I get emails after 4:30 and I answer.

I go to meetings that are hostile situations. This month, especially. Believe me, I'm underpaid. And I hate it when I feel that people are taking it for granted.

So I make more money than they do. Does that mean I've become some sort of government tax rebate program in-house?

Suffice it to say, because I've been home far too long, I'm taking off this weekend. I decided a trip to my sister's is what the doctor ordered. I'm leaving Thursday and coming back Monday night. We're going to Edmonton to catch the Oilers game on Saturday and just veg.

It's not just my roommates pissing me off. It's a bunch of things. It's just the straw that's breaking my back.

Thankfully, next month I have a bunch of trips planned for work. This experiment of being home for a month was a fail.

I'm gone for a week to the north, a few days in Winnipeg again, a day in Victoria, a possible trip to either Ottawa/Toronto.

And I'm thinking again of buying my own place. The problem is, I don't want a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment. Ugh.

A friend and I are thinking of buying a house. We get along great, we give each other space, we can say what we want.

This house wouldn't be so bad if I felt I could say what's on my mind. Problem is my cousin is delicate. She takes everything and bundles it up and makes herself sick. I don't want to be responsible for someone being sick.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Wow. I rant when I want, eh.

2009.007

2009-02-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm going to London, England!

A friend and I were planning a trip to Scotland and Ireland later this year but no dates were ever set. We were just going to fly by the seat of our pants, looking at August, maybe September.

I have tickets to see Dave Matthews Band in Las Vegas in May.

I'm going to sell those tickets.

Because a better offer came up.

I'm going to see Bruce Springsteen AND Dave Matthews at Hard Rock Calling in Hyde Park, London, England!!!

I got a pre-sale password from Dave himself and logged on at 1 am this morning to see if it worked and lo and behold it did.

We're going to London, Scotland and Ireland at the end of June. Not sure if we're going to London first, or Scotland/Ireland but I'm all kinds of excited.

I've never had the desire to visit Europe until recently so why not. My friend's been there more times than I can count so if there's a person to go with, it's her.

2009.006

2009-01-26T19:03:00.001-08:00

I'm too scared to blog because the Oilers have been winning.

Once they start losing again (if ever) I'll be back.

I fly to Toronto tomorrow. Travelling in the winter time is so much fun!

2009.005

2009-01-16T14:16:00.000-08:00

Things I've learned so far this year:

Don't volunteer to go to Winnipeg because the meeting looks interesting.

It's freaking freezing in the centre of the country.

I didn't get to visit friends because they're both girls and girls don't like the cold. Neither do I. I guess that means I'm a girl.

That drivers in this city are idiots. It's not a new epiphany. Just cements my belief. Their race, gender, age don't matter. They're just all idiots.

You meet many people in Maple Leaf Lounge. It's like a bar without music and all old people.

I sit in meetings where the combined salaries of those involved would total millions annually but they can be pretty uneducated on matters and require handholding.

That is the most frustrating part of my job.

I've learned I'm tired of fighting, debating, playing devil's advocate and that's 75% of my job.

The other 25 is writing reports, recommendations and analysis of my fights. I don't like writing anymore.

I could make a lot of money consulting. To the point I'd only have to work 2 days a week. I was offered a consulting job at one of my meetings.

I love the Edmonton Oilers. No. Matter. What.

But that's not new. Just have to re-iterate mt feelings.

2009.004

2009-01-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Vegas, bitches.

Dave Matthews Band is releasing a new cd in April. They begin their spring concert tour in New York. I camethisclose to signing up for tickets to their New York show but saw the dates and knew it wasn't possible.

DAMN YOU BRITNEY SPEARS.

I bought tickets to BS's concert in Vancouver as a Christmas present to my niece.

I should also say DAMN YOU DOODLEBOPS.

Because the Doodlebops are here the day after Britney and I bought those for my niece and nephew. They're flying in from Calgary and staying the whole next week so we're going over to the island, driving up to Port Hardy and taking the ferry back home for a visit with the parentals and my sister will meet us.

Therefore I can't see DMB in New York.

So, I signed up for tickets in Las Vegas and was advised today, while I was in this big important meeting, I was successful for Vegas.

Now it's a matter of figuring out which one of my friends has a passport and can come to Vegas in May.

The meeting today was awesome. I wish I could go into detail but I can't.

A co-worker and I are thinking if our contracts don't get renewed at the end of March, we're going to start our own consulting company and make a killing. Based on today's meeting alone, we were offered 3 different jobs.

2009.003

2009-01-11T21:22:00.001-08:00

So, Friday night was ladies' poker night at a friend's/co-worker's.

There were actually 5 of my co-workers there. Two just hanging out while the rest of us played.

As you know, I bought a new sweet ride last August that I still love a lot. In fact, when everyone was homebound because of all the snow we had here in Vancouver, I was able to navigate everywhere. It really is a sweet ride.

Well, because of the snow, not all cars could park properly at a friend's. I made it to the driveway and a couple parked on the road, across the street.

My supervisor was one of the poker players. It was raining on Friday. It was dark, you get the drift.

She backed into the car parked on the street. We just heard a smash.

I guess in the vehicle, the passenger said, "YOU HIT GRACE'S CAR!" And they both looked scared at each other like someone was going to die. Then they turned around and saw that it wasn't mine it was a sweet girl's and she said, "Oh no, you hit Mandy's car." And my boss said, "Oh Thank God!".

I find it hilarious.

I mean I wouldn't have killed anyone. I would have done what I always do. Repress my anger while smiling.

Thankfully the damage is minimal. A mirror has to be replaced and a scratch on the door from when the mirror broke.

But why was everyone relieved that it wasn't my car? Was it because my car's new? My co-worker bought hers about 4 months before I bought mine so it's relatively new too. Or was it because of me?

I'm off to Winnipeg on Tuesday. Yeah. Fun stuff. I've decided to start flying back the evening after my meetings are over, if possible, so I could accumulate overtime in case I do get to Scotland for three weeks this summer.

I'm off to Toronto at the end of the month, and possibly off to Ottawa sometime in February. You know how many status airmiles that is? Approximately 10,000. You know how many status airmiles you need to become an elite member for aeroplan in a year? 35,000. I'm probably going to hit that around summer and get early recognition status for next year. You know what that means? More upgrade certificates and another year of early boarding, executive check-in, maple leaf lounge, extra luggage.

2009.002

2009-01-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

I've always only made one new year's resolution:

1. Travel to a place I've never visited before.

Last year that was accomplished by a trip to New Zealand, as well as parts of Australia I'd never been to.

This year, the resolution still stands.

I'm adding another.

I used to be fairly active. When I think back, it's quite depressing. I used to play hockey, soccer, basketball, softball. I used to ski, snowmobile (that involved lifting the machine out of many tough spots), running, and yoga.

Because I was so active, I never had to watch what I ate, my output was more than my input.

But I've obviously let that slide. Since I've started working far too much these past 5 years, the most activity I get is walking to and from meetings.

But my eating habits haven't changed. Which is part of the problem.

So, my additional NY resolution is to get healthy. Not through fringe diets that would be tempting, but getting back into some of the activities I loved.

I really do miss skiing. Part of my lack of skiing is this city's so pretentious. Back home I could go to 2 mountains and not have to think about what I'm wearing. Is it this year's outfit or last year's?

So, I think I'll go back to trying to start running/jogging again and looking up yoga classes in my neighbourhood.

And cutting back on pizza. And cooking more at home.

Which would help with my just now decided-upon action to pay off my visa in 3 months. It's not a new year's resolution.

The problem with my visa:
- purchasing Oilers tickets (over $2000)
- car repairs (over $2000)
- buying an Air Canada flight pass (over $2000)

Plus some holiday shopping and my sister using the visa card I gave her for purposes she wasn't supposed to (but I'm not going to bitch about). Then there was the lack of reimbursement for travel expenses for great lengths. I just finally received a reimbursement from the government for a trip I took in October (it cost me over $800). Yes, even though I left the gov't, I still occasionally travel on gov't business. In fact, I'm going to Winnipeg next week on gov't business. I travel more for them now that I've left, than I ever did while working there.

Anyway, I guess it adds up to 2 1/4 resolutions.

It doesn't help that I'm planning a trip to Vegas in May to see Dave Matthews Band. In my defense, I need a vacation and I didn't purchse the VIP tickets (for $250 a ticket) like I was going to. Instead I'll be in the audience with the rest of the poor people. I ditched the VIP package so I could possibly stay at a really nice hotel with really comfortable beds.

PS: This city's operations department totally sucks donkey ass.

2009.001

2009-01-02T01:58:00.001-08:00

Well, I obviously didn't post 365 posts last year. In my defense it was a freakin' busy year.

For all the problems Air Canada had flying out of Vancouver, here's my experience:

I was awake at 5:30 am, finishing packing my clothes and gifts. I shovelled the walk the night before and shovelled again before I left for fear some thieves would know that nobody was home, break in and steal all our stuff.

I then drove to a friend's as she was dropping me off and using my vehicle while I'm away.

Got to the airport about 1.5 hours early. She parked and came in, just in case my flight didn't leave.

The line-up for check-in was freakin' insane. This is where all my insane travelling this past year came in handy. I immediately went to the Executive Check-in. That line-up was insanely long too. Before, you'd just be able to walk up to the counter and check-in. I had to walk around the side towards international departures to get in line.

I was starting to become concerned when we'd barely moved after about 20 minutes, thinking I'm going to miss check-in and be totally screwed.

Then someone from Air Canada was walking along the line asking if anyone is a Super Elite member. When nobody answered, she asked if anyone was an Elite member. The lady in front of me was, as was I so she moved us to the front of the line, ahead of those that paid an arm and a leg for their executive seats.

I then checked in FOUR pieces of HUGE luggage, making sure each weighed less than my allotted 70 lbs each.

Each of my luggage was tagged with "PRIORITY", as was my boarding pass.

I then walked through the priority security check-in lane and proceeded to the Maple Leaf Lounge for complimentary breakfast, beverages and wireless internet connection and announcement for my flight.

Obviously my plane was late leaving but I still got out with no problems whatsoever.

After watching the news, I was one of the fortunate ones.

My 55,000 status miles flying on one airline - and it's partners - paid off.

I have two trips coming up in January. One for four days to Winnipeg and another four day trip to Toronto as well. Thinking about Vegas in February but may hold off until May when DMB is there. Thinking about getting VIP tickets to their concert there.

I got a PS3 for Christmas. I'm going to be either an avid blu-ray dvd collector or a hardcore gamer.

Oh yeah, and my missing awesome camera was found in Toronto. Can't wait to get it. I don't think anyone realized how much I missed it until my friend emailed telling me her new puppy found it under my bed. You'd figure it was Christmas all over again with how I was calling everyone saying, "they found my camera!"

2008.231

2008-12-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

Oilers are losing 3-0 right now in the second period. We're in a box but we're moving to another box because that's how we roll in the boxes.

These dudes in this suite keep harassing me about the Oilers.

Some friends are talking about us getting our own box for a hockey game and I'm up for it.

2008.230

2008-12-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

Oilers got spanked last night while I was out at a Christmas dinner.

It's like they know when I don't watch, blog, etc.

Man, I was pissed.

People must consider my activities and loyalty to the Oilers before scheduling things.

One dude last night said, "Oilers fans always talk about the 80's"

I said, "Canucks fans always talk about how close they came to almost winning the Cup in 94"

They were hurt.

But you can never outdig me in hockey regarding my Oilers.

I'll take a whole room on.

I'm looking - still - for tickets to tonight's game. I have friends calling friends calling friends.

I'm not willing to pay $300 a ticket. But I might have to.

Because it pains my heart to think I'll be missing my boys while they're here in Vancouver.

2008.229

2008-12-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

So as to not tempt fate.

Doing a little post.

Since the Oil are facing the nucks.

I have to buy 23 gifts this year.

I've bought 6 so far.

Cost of 6 gifts: $1200.00.

I kid you not.

One of them is a trip to Vegas.

Oilers just scored.

They shall win.

And I shall be in debt for a year after this Christmas.

But it's all good.

2008.228

2008-12-08T12:00:00.001-08:00

I'm so tired of work. So over having to work. Burnout? Probably.

I'm also tired of people thinking I want to hear their opinions. If I wanted it, I'd ask for it.

If I said something on a teleconference, I really don't need you to follow-up with me after it's over. I said my peace, you said yours, it's over.

I'm so over the Liberal Party. Let it implode.

I've been donating far too much for spoiled children to pout and cry until they get their way.

PS: Don't bother commenting on this. I don't care what your opinion is either.

Yeah, I'm bitchy. I always have been.

I just became too tolerant of shit and now I'm not again anymore.

I'm thinking of taking next week off work. We're supposed to have our retreat and our Christmas party but I'm not a fan of another wasted retreat and not a fan of a Christmas party at a stupid location.

I'm going home for Christmas. Two friends are fighting over which one will be using my Edge while I'm away for two weeks. It's kind of cute.

2008.227

2008-11-26T05:44:00.000-08:00

Last night, in the cold freezing snow, we went to the casino in Hull.

My friend was playing slots, and I was playing poker.

The staff at the casino are very nice and helpful.

The players at the casino all know each other.

I was the only person "new" at the table.

And I should trust my instinct.

This dude sitting beside me, another person and I were in a hand.

The flop was 5, 6, 7. The turn was a J.

The dude beside me raised $50.

The table was a $1-2 table.

Raising $50 was putting half my chips in.

I had a pair of Q's.

He said, "I have your hand beat." after the other guy folded.

I said, "Do you have a pair of jacks?"

He said no.

That only left a straight.

A straight would beat my queens.

I folded after he said he'd show me his cards.

He only showed me one.

He had a 5.

He didn't show the other and I said, "I had you beat."

Unless he had two pairs.

But he didn't.

A pair of 5's beat my Q's.

Fucker.

It really pissed me off.

The whole night prior he was honest with me.

And then he bluffed me out of a hand I could have won.

Lesson learned.

I ended up losing $50 playing poker.

First time I ever walked out of a casino playing poker with less money than I went in with.

And that pisses me off more.

I blame the tables.

They're all electronic. No dealer. No chips. No moving around of the button.

There's a big difference.

I get my reads on people with how and when they play with their chips, how their hands look (shaking, etc.) when betting or raising.

Here there's no dealer and no real movement. You have to keep an eye on who has the dealer button.

Oh well. Apparently they'll be getting live dealers on December 12.

Not that it helped me this trip.

But their buffet did have mussels! And I probably ate $50 worth of mussels.

Yesterday's meeting was LONG.

And a bit controversial.

Thankfully my time on the committee is done.

A co-worker is taking over the file for me.

Which made the director sad. Because I think he liked my militant ways.

They'll all be meeting in January.

I'll be at home in rainy but warm Vancouver.

I called my boss yesterday as she's just back from vacation and I had some concerns about an employee and it was easier calling than typing it all out on my blackberry.

She said, "It's cold here." So I asked the temperature. And it was like +7. When it's -1000 here.

Meh.

2008.226

2008-11-25T04:58:00.000-08:00

I left my cellphone in Toronto. My friend's boyfriend was late getting me to the airport because he didn't want to wake up and I didn't want to yell "HURRY UP, I'LL BE LATE!"

So while sitting in the car, constantly looking at the time, I dropped my cellphone under the seat. I made a note to myself to pick it up when exiting the vehicle but by the time we got to the airport, I forgot and just jumped out, grabbed my suitcase and took off.

I didn't realize I left it until I was on the airplane. I have rituals when I fly. I send my sister text messages when I'm in my seat, telling her what time I'm expected to land. When I reached into my pocket to text, I couldn't find my cell. I had to re-hash my movements. Did I leave it on a chair in the waiting area? Security? At check-in? Nope, in the car! I sent a quick email from my blackberry. It's being shipped to my home.

So, if you have my cell, odds are I won't be taking your call for the rest of the week. Most have my email so that's the best way to get a hold of me since it loads on my blackberry.

It's freaking freezing in Ottawa. And even though my hotel window is closed, it wasn't locked all the way so there was a bit of an air drift that I didn't find out about until this morning. And I heard it all night. I thought they just had shitty windows.

And a noise I'm not used to. Snow removal. Yes, not only is it freaking freezing in Ottawa, it freaking snowed too.

I was thinking about flying back tonight instead of tomorrow but I had such a horrible night of sleep that I don't see myself surviving a long day by flying home. Which means I'll be here until the afternoon tomorrow.

An organization and I have been trying to set up a meeting for awhile. They got their wrists slapped for hosting meetings without us. So, they scheduled a meeting around my schedule. Problem is, it's happening when I'd normally be on a flight. So I'm joining via conference call. And the time of the call is the time I'd be flying back. And I can't complain. Because the date and time were picked by me, long before I had this trip to Ottawa.

Where it's freaking freezing. And I keep repeating that because I'll soon be going out in that freaking freezing weather. And I'm not going to enjoy it.

And I missed the Sens game last night. Because I didn't want to be out in the freaking freezing weather at night.

2008.225

2008-11-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

I probably don't fit the profile of a frequent flyer. I dress comfortably for flying and I'm not wearing anything Gucci or Prada.

But so far this year I've flown over 50,000 miles. About 15,000 of that thanks to my trip to New Zealand and Australia.

The rest is pretty much work related.

So, I don't usually take advantage of some of the benefits of flying frequently with Star Alliance.

For example, I have only used one upgrade certificate and I haven't used Maple Leaf Lounge yet either.

But I do like the priority baggage tag so I'm not waiting around for my suitcase upon landing.

I decided to use my gold benefit today when checking my luggage though since my friend's boyfriend was late bringing me to the airport.

I usually tag my own luggage and just drop off. The luggage line was in the same area as the executive. Both lines were small, the luggage dropoff smaller so I got in that. The chick checking luggage ahead of me was slow though so the person at executive waved me over.

She didn't put the priority tag on my suitcase so I asked her if she would. She looked at my ticket and said, "oh you do have priority. You belong over here." And put the tag on my suitcase.

It's nice to "belong" sometimes.

I may upgrade the flight home. Especially if I fly back tomorrow night instead of Wednesday afternoon.

I'll first see if the Sens are playing.

2008.224

2008-11-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

I don't know if people fully read my emails when I send them.

I was sitting on the tarmac in Vancouver waiting for my flight to Ottawa, after emailing my report to my boss. Her assistant sends me a message thanking me and asking if I wanted to play poker that night.

But in my message it says I'm on the way to Ottawa.

My calendar says I'm in Ottawa. Everyone has access to it.

Then I get a message asking if I'll be able to make a meeting on Tuesday.

After I said I'll be in Ottawa until possibly Wednesday.

This weekend in Toronto was nice.

I spent the entire day Saturday in my pajamas.

It's freaking cold here.

Yesterday we saw the movie Twilight.

It had 3 parts that were totally cheesy.

But then I'm a cynic. Or a realist.

I've been so sleep deprived with how much I've been travelling and trying to adjust to different time zones, I don't think I'll ever recover.

A few more weeks until the Christmas break.

I still haven't decided if I'm going home for the whole two weeks or maybe 1.5 or 1 or even just a couple of days. I just know I don't want to disappoint Mom so it'll probably be at least 1 week which means I'll be missing the Oilers game on the 26th.

Meh.

2008.223

2008-11-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

Oilers take on the Red Wings. When I didn't blog about it, they lost like 50-0.

So I'm blogging today.

I may get busted since I'm sitting in a meeting.

I just got into a public debate with a government official.

And it felt good.

I may do that again.

It looks like I'll be leaving. Probably in the spring.

The more I think about it, the more I believe it'd be a good move. There may be short-term pain, but the long-term gain is far too great to ignore.

Plus, I'm working myself into a lot of anger where I work right now. With office politics.

If I wanted to be a part of office politics, I'd have hung around gov't and at least had a nice tidy pension at the end.

I received a "raise" but the raise isn't something I'm happy with. Not when I know one particular employee who doesn't carry even half of my workload is getting paid more than I am.

So there you go. Another move.

I saw RockNRolla last night. Freakin' hilarious movie.

Why, when you go to a movie with a guy, it's considered a date, but when you go with a girl, it's hanging out. I went to a movie last night a guy friend and suddenly we're dating. I told my friend that advised me of that, is if hanging out and doing stuff is considered a date, she and I are in what amounts to a committed relationship.

2008.222

2008-11-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

I didn't blog the last two games and the Oilers lost both. Pattern? Perhaps. But it really is pissing me off.

I went to Edmonton with three of my nieces for the game and it was fun save for Horcoff blowing an empty net goal that allowed the Avs to score with seconds remaining and then Horcoff again blowing on the shootout that allowed the Avs to win.

My love for the Oilers ultimately trumped my affection for Ryan Smyth. When the game was tight, with Smytty being dangerous with the puck and all, I found myself shouting, "Hit him!" And I really wanted them to hit him.

I'm supposed to go into the office to do staff orientation. I also need to book my trip to Toronto then Ottawa for, well, I guess Friday. Where the hell is the time going?

I was actually supposed to be in the office 45 minutes ago but I'm not even ready. I just need a week in bed, with no worries and no responsibilities whatsoever.

I need to check out how much time I can take off. And then maybe go somewhere fabulous. Or just stay home and in bed. I mean I have a kickass bed and a kickass TV.

I should get going though if I want to be home by 4 pm to catch the Oilers on TV.

2008.221

2008-11-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

So, a friend of mine was hosting a meeting today and I had all of these plans of leaving early since she'd understand so I can catch an early flight to Calgary and make it there in time to catch the end of the Oilers/Leafs game.

No sense in making plans.

Here I sit, at YVR, 5:52 pm, waiting for my 6:55 flight to Calgary as I ended up staying at the meeting until the very end. I'll miss the Oilers game tonight and I'll also miss Survivor, The Office, and ER.

When I got to the meeting, my friend said, "I need to talk to you at break." So, as soon as coffee break was announced, I approached her, she grabbed this dude and introduced us.

"Here's the person I've been talking to you about." Huh?

I'm being "head hunted" for a position within government. A pretty big position that would be a fair bit more than I make right now. In fact, almost double what I make right now and I make a pretty decent living.

The problem is I'd have to leave Vancouver. The problem is it's a very attractive offer. With a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility.

What I'd make in two years of working in said position would entitle me to a very nice nest egg and from a financial aspect I'm crazy not to take it.

But then it's never been all about the money, it's about the work.

When I sit back and think of the job I'm doing, it's with a lot of honour. I represent a voice that doesn't get heard, and I make sure people hear them.

I sit in meetings and am the voice of people that society forgets. And when society does remember, it's with venom.

Plus I believe in loyalty. My supervisor is a great person. If I left, it'd leave a big hole for her to try fill and I don't believe in treating people that way.

The flip side is we've hired a junior employee to take over some of my responsibilities so I can focus on big picture stuff. However, I can also view it as someone I'm training to eventually take over my position so I can entertain the thoughts of leaving one day.

Who knows.

Some days it's, "No never" and other days is, "When can I start?"

Sitting in these meetings, we had to discuss various topics and the facilitator was walking the room.

I guess some of the comments I made lead her to believe I'm a genius and she wanted me to speak and give final thoughts about the day and where we're going.

I accepted, not knowing my big boss, the head of our entire organization, was also going to show up and offer final thoughts.

When I was being introduced, the introduction was something I don't think accurately represents me. She said I was brilliant, and that in 10 years look out, I could be running various organizations and leading the charge.

So what happens? I fall on my face.

I have a certain image I have to uphold. People are a bit intimidated by me at meetings because I tend to hold them accountable, question their thinking, get them to focus on other areas.

And I broke down.

I started thinking of my Great-Grandmother, my Grandfather, my Grandmother. Every force that gives me the drive to get up in the morning and do the job I have to do on days I just don't want to do it.

So I got emotional.

I freakin' hate it when I get emotional. And to get emotional in front of my boss too! That freakin' sucks.

I was told later by many people that it was such a heart warming speech. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Now they know I'm human. Now they know a weakness.

But I have been blessed in this life. I've been blessed because since birth, I've been surrounded by amazing, strong survivors. People born in this country who had to fight just to survive, against government, against people, against systems that tried to destroy them.

And they didn't grow bitter, or jaded, or greedy. They just loved unconditionally. They loved me unconditionally, and even though they were taken from me far too soon, they taught me that I deserved to be loved. And to never settle, and to never go silently into the night.

My family has never been rich, financially. I will never be willed vast amounts of money.

But when I wake up in the morning, it's with the knowledge that we have a rich history, a rich culture, an emotionally rich and present family.

Not many people can say that.

Anyway.

The Oilers play the Leafs, and I am a bit ticked I can't watch it. But my sister's promised to record it for me. And Survivor. And The Office. And ER.

Monday, I get quality time alone with my younger niece and nephew so I can't wait to further brainwash them about the Oilers.

That's going to be fun. My suitcase has three Oilers jerseys in it. And about 5 Oiler toothbrushes.

And the Oilers just released a greatest games dvd collection. So I can't wait to pick that up and relive history.

Then Tuesday it's nose back to the grindstone and carrying on with the long task ahead. A few days at home, another flight to Ottawa, another flight home. Another journey.

But we are going to Cuba in February. That is for certain. I have enough holidays saved up to be able to take a week or two off.

And I won't feel guilty.

2008.220

2008-11-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

I had a meeting at the office yesterday. Normally meetings are outdated and boring. This one was productive and one of my favourite projects. I really can't wait to see how this rolls out. If I choose to leave my job, and believe me, I question my staying daily, this will be my legacy. Not to toot my own horn but it's a freakin' amazing project that will have a positive impact.

I'm still on this whole eastern time zone kick as I am always awake at 4 am.

I so desperately wanted to go to the Avs game last night, especially since they won in a shootout, but I had a prior commitment.

I have one meeting that's supposed to last all day but I plan on leaving at 3 because I want to catch a plane at 5 to get to Calgary early enough to catch the end of the Oilers/Leafs game on TV.

Plus I am just extremely exhausted. All this travelling and crossing time zones and going back is finally getting to me. So to get over it, I'm going to visit my sister and catch the Oilers/Avs game in Edmonton. Back to work Tuesday, leave Friday for Toronto and then Monday for Ottawa, back home Tuesday night for a meeting Wednesday and THEN NO TRAVELLING UNTIL I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

I hope.

Who knows.

There'll probably be one more trip to Ottawa before Christmas just because life sucks.

First, I need to pack, because I don't know if I'm coming home first and then getting a ride to the airport, or going straight to the airport from my meeting. I'll be carrying around my suitcase all day just in case.

I'm hoping I can find some poker chips for sale in Calgary. I started getting my sister's family interested in playing poker and I vowed we'd play for money when I come visit. It'll be fun to take $5 each from a 13 and 10 year old.

2008.219

2008-11-12T04:30:00.000-08:00

Great. I'm still on Ontario time. It's 4:30 but my body thinks it's 7:30 so I'm wide awake. And I've been awake for about an hour. All because I went to sleep at about 7 last night. I was supposed to go to a Liberal event last night but instead didn't. I'm going to one tonight instead.

The flight home yesterday morning was pretty damn good. I don't think I'll ever be able to fly in "economy" class ever again, knowing how great it is to fly executive.

They hung up my jacket. I was served fresh fruit and juice to start off, then an omelette with tea, then warm cookies with ice cream and milk, then almonds with a soft drink. All from a big comfortable chair and a huge arm rest and pillows and blankets.

The flight attendant kept calling me "sweetie". I guess she thought I was a kid. In "economy" class I don't get called anything. Maybe the odd, "hey you".

I saw Zack and Miri Make A Porno yesterday too. Freakin' funny movie. I love Kevin Smith.

I have one more sleep here in Vancouver then I'm gone until Monday again. This time it's personal. I'm off to see the Oilers! It's like a reward for the past few weeks of hell.

I have one of the best nieces, ever. One of my other niece's was walking home from school when she saw Jac standing in the front yard, yelling at the teenagers across the street. I guess they were telling the 5 year old that the Oilers sucked. And Jac was fighting with them about it. She wouldn't stop telling them off. My oldest niece asked the teenaged boys what they got out of arguing with a little girl. I'm just so proud that she was telling them off.

My Dad decided to have fun with Jac and started arguing with her on the phone about the Oilers too. She just wouldn't let up. He was exhausted trying to tell her the nucks were better so he just handed the phone to Mom. Mom says Jac's brainwashed. I just think she's a genius. Obviously her loyalty will be rewarded and she's coming to the game on Saturday.

2008.218

2008-11-10T19:55:00.001-08:00

So tonight, a friend that moved here called and we went out for dinner. We walked to "downtown" Ottawa and tried finding a nice establishment that was televising the Oilers game and we couldn't find one so we ended up at the dive restaurant known as Don Cherry's.

The service didn't start out bad but the food turned out to suck. I guess they thought they were serving burgers to 5 year old's as it was dry and had no fixings. We had to ask for mustard, mayo, ketchup and relish. And they forgot to bring it. By the time it was brought out, our burgers were cold so we had to ask for them to be re-heated.

Seriously. It sucked.

And the bar was full of nerds. Some even had pocket protectors.

And one thought he was being cool blocking my view during the third period.

I had to yell, "EXCUSE ME!" and he's like, "I'm trying to sit down" Since I know it doesn't take five minutes to sit the eff down I said, "you're not doing a great job of sitting the eff down" and they all got "whoa". Nobody gets between me and my Oilers.

So the nerds thought they'd get their revenge by cheering on the Rangers. But this revenge of the nerds amounted to eff all since the Oilers won in a shootout. Hemsky!!!!!!!!

And totally random, in to the bar walks in one of our old friends from the last liberal leadership convention so we had a LPC discussion.

I'm at a crossroads.

And totally random but as I'm typing out this blog post my MP just called me.

I am happy the convention is taking place in Vancouver. I was contemplating not going and the excuse would have been it would cost too much to fly to Toronto and set up a hotel but with it being in Vancouver I just have to pay the price of admission.

Meh.

Oh. I'm totally sober. Didn't have an ounce to drink. Just jacked up on the Oilers win.

I have an early flight tomorrow.

I'm worried I'll sleep in.

I have my alarm clock set for 5:50 am and I have a wake up call at 5:45. I'm already packed up. It should take about 15-20 minutes to get to the airport. I'm not going to shower. Eff that.

Anyway. I should be sleeping.

I'm back here two weeks from today, bitches. Bring your poker chips and we'll throw down. Y'all ain't ready.

2008.217

2008-11-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

I'm not a fan of attending plenary panels at conferences. It is usually self-congratulatory in nature. I'm now feeling guilty for missing yesterday's. Apparently a discussion by one of the people I've met here made the chair of the conference cry and at the table I'm sitting at right now, there's a lot of drama.

It is now about 8 minutes after 10 and I'm ready to end it all and nap. Or go back to my room and watch Oprah and drink hot chocolate.

I'm a bit miffed with myself as I deleted an email and emptied out my trash and I lost the number of a friend of mine and can't access my facebook email to get the number of a friend that lives here so we can maybe catch an early dinner or something.

My cousin that lives here is a flight attendant and is out of the city so no get together with her. Two weeks from today I'll be back in this hell hole.

Any place that isn't home and where the Oilers aren't playing and isn't NZ or Aus is a hell hole.

It's actually funny when people will only do things that aren't inconvenient to them and when you try attach practice to it they're reluctant to follow through.

2008.216

2008-11-10T04:19:00.000-08:00

My meetings are done at noon today so I'll have an afternoon to either sleep, tour around, watch Oprah or do some work for a meeting I have on Wednesday.

What to do, what to do.

I think I found my blogging voice again. I'm not sure. It could pass as well.

Have I mentioned that the Oilers won? If that's not motivation to blog, I don't know what is.

They play New York tonight. Hmm...how far is NYC from Ottawa and could I make the return trip before 7:30 am tomorrow morning. I'm too scared to find out as it's something I'm crazy enough to do.

I realized on my last trip here that I wasn't travelling with my passport. This trip I brought it, "just in case". Just in case what, I have no idea. Maybe to go to NYC to catch the Oilers.

But I'm not going to do it. I'm not.

Any suggestions as to what to do after 12 pm this afternoon would be greatly appreciated. If parliament were in session, I'd be going to watch them yell at each other in person instead of watching on CPAC.

I'm taking Friday AND Monday off work. We have a junior staff member who'll be taking over some of the files I don't like working on starting on Monday but she can get an orientation from staff and I can meet with her on Tuesday.

I slept in this morning. I woke up after 7. That's troubling to me as I have to be awake at 6 tomorrow morning.

I was going to check out the casino tonight but with the whole have to be up early I may have to nix that idea.

But. Maybe I could see if they have centre ice and catch the Oil/NYC game there.

Does anyone know if any place in this city has NHL IC on their tv?

Man I can't wait to get home and watch these games.

I can't wait to see the Oilers live on Saturday. It's been far too long.

I'm entertaining the thought of flying back to Vancouver for a night after Christmas to catch the Oilers/Canucks game and then flying back home. With my sister. I'll probably veto myself later but it's fun to entertain.

2008.215

2008-11-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

I'm too lazy to go to the casino. Plus travelling in the dark isn't all that much fun and it's already after 9 pm here in Ottawa.

In my year and 4 months I've been working for this organization I don't even know how many times I've been to our nation's capital. And I can tell you how many times I've actually toured this city: once.

And it was more by accident than anything. A friend of mine moved here and we met "downtown" for drinks and appetizers before he had to catch his bus back to the 'burbs.

The past few times I've been here, he's been travelling or the weather sucked and it hasn't been actual, "beer on the patio" weather.

It's now the end of the 2nd period and the Oilers are beating the devils 2-0.

During my last workshop this afternoon I practiced self-affirmation and wrote on a piece of paper sitting on the table, "the Edmonton Oilers will beat the devils tonight." twice. Maybe I was being prophetic and the Oilers will win the game 2-0. We'll know soon enough.

It's a sad, sad state of affairs when I find myself sitting on a bed in a hotel with a plate of Swiss Chalet chicken and the tv set for Desperate Housewives. See, I'm too lazy channel surf and obviously hotels don't have satellite where the menu pops up and you can scroll through until you find a channel you like.

Okay, I just guilted myself into channel surfing after admitting I was watching desperate housewives (it was on after the amazing race) and I found Family Guy. I win.

2008.214

2008-11-09T16:26:00.001-08:00

Signs I've been travelling far too much.

In practice, I obviously know where I am most of the time.

However there are those occasions where I'm not entirely sure.

Like waking up in the morning. When I turn over or open my eyes, I know I'm not home. The walls aren't yellow, the TV isn't a flat screen and the bed just doesn't feel like my bed.

So, where am I?

Or else walking through a hotel lobby. As I was doing earlier today. The people behind the counters look the same all over the country. As I passed by the counter I was lost. The people looked exactly like those at hotels in Fredericton and Toronto. I actually had to go through a checklist elimination process to remind myself I was in Ottawa.

Oh well. Two more nights here. And an early flight Tuesday. I actually can't wait to be back home. I kind of regret this trip. I didn't know my parents were thinking of visiting me in Vancouver over what is their long weekend but I wasn't home. Would have been nice to see them.

I get an email approximately every other day from my Dad. It may sound strange given we are close, but my Dad and I rarely talk on the phone. I talk to my Mom everyday. Email seems to be my Dad's way of connecting. In fact, I told him first about my plans of going home for Christmas long before I even mentioned it to Mom on the phone.

Oilers game is starting online. I'm going to watch The Amazing Race on TV, then I'm going to the casino in Gatineau and hope they have a sports bar there that carries NHL centre ice to catch the third period of the game. I suppose I should google that before making the trek. But that'd take the fun out of having an excuse to check out the casino.

2008.213

2008-11-09T04:55:00.000-08:00

Apparently the Oilers don't play until tonight. I may listen online since sportsnet ontario will undoubtedly not carry the game.

Have I mentioned I fly back on Tuesday in executive class? The flight back to Vancouver is always longer so it'll be a treat.

Have I mentioned I've been extremely exhausted?

I got back to my room about 7 pm last night, was text messaging and then zonk. Fell asleep. Woke up at 4 this morning, fell back asleep. Then woke up at 7 and figured I should start getting ready for another day. I have to leave here in 15 minutes to get there by 8:30 for the next session.

Remind me to never sign up for another conference without checking the dates. If I had have known this was on the weekend, I probably would have skipped it.

Oh well. Three days of overtime. I thought about using those dates to take three days off and spend it at my sister's but no. I have meetings on the Monday and Tuesday. Well, Tuesday for sure. I might be able to take Monday off.

I even have meetings all day on my birthday! Intense, indepth meetings too!

I thought about going to the casino last night if I couldn't sleep. Haha.

I may go tonight if I suffer from insomnia but I don't see that happening. I love sleeping!

I'll be back here in two weeks. Albeit just for one night at that time. After yet another weekend in Toronto.

Did I mention I'm getting a sort of promotion at work? I'm hoping it comes with a sort of raise. After sitting down and looking at the files I have, I've been wondering why I haven't gone insane. Or maybe I have and just not that self-aware yet.

It's quite easy driving around Ottawa. Of course, it's not as big as Vancouver but it's always a bit tense when you're driving around a new city.

2008.212

2008-11-08T07:18:00.001-08:00

It's about 7 am bc time and I've been listening to people talk for the past hour. On a Saturday. Clearly there's something wrong with me.

I arrived at the hotel at almost 2 am this morning.

And I'm here until Tuesday morning. I'm flying back executive class. There's finally a reward for all this flying. An upgrade.

Oh since I've travelled over 40,000 miles so far this year, I have elite status with Air Canada and the benefits so far are the security line bypass at airports, priority baggage check-in, AC maple leaf lounge access, where they have internet access and snacks, seats close to the front, 4 luggage check-in, and first to board.

First to board may not sound like much but when you're not, you have no place to store your luggage in the overhead bins.

Sounds like a promo for AC but it isn't. I'm just tired, bored and I have no idea if the Oilers play tonight so I'm blogging just in case.

Here in Ottawa, it's raining. It was raining while I was in Fredericton. Seeing a pattern. It always rains in Vancouver.

Best feature on my blackberry: GPS. I rented a car here in Ottawa and got to my hotel with no trouble at all.

2008.212

2008-11-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

2008.211

2008-11-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

Tired of excuses? Me too.

Here's an update:

I flew to Toronto for a day of meetings.

Spent the weekend in Toronto.

Flew to Fredericton.

Flew back to Toronto after 3 days of meetings.

Spent the weekend.

Flew back to Vancouver Sunday.

Caught up on some sleep.

Attended some meetings.

Arranged two days of training for staff that ends tomorrow.

I'm quite the genius. Everyone likes the training so far.

It helps to provide lunch.

Tomorrow I fly to Ottawa.

Will be there until Tuesday, when I fly home. In executive class.

You read that right. Those big comfy seats where I can sprawl out.

I'll work diligently Wednesday and Thursday.

I'll fly out Thursday for Calgary.

My Oilers need me.

They're not doing well because I haven't been posting, I'm sure.

I must change that.

So, I'm going to Calgary and then going to Edmonton to catch a game.

Because apparently I haven't been flying enough.

Then I'm back at work for the whole week.

Then I FLY OUT AGAIN on Friday for Toronto to spend the weekend and then Ottawa for meetings the following week.

You keeping up? That's 4 weekends in a row I'm not home.

I will be here, barring unforeseen circumstances for the final week in November.

Oh.

I was supposed to go to Hawaii after Christmas, but we changed it.

We're going in February to Cuba or something. Because it'll be cheap and we can go for a week instead of 4 days we were planning.

And I'll miss the Oilers game here on December 26, because I'll be back home. I haven't been home for awhile and two weeks there sounds good. I just haven't decided if I'll make the drive or fly. I fly, I'll be beholden to other people's schedules while I'm there, bumming a ride here and there. I drive it's a long freakin' drive in the middle of winter and it'd be by myself. Which wouldn't be bad since I have the cool new wheels but I'd actually have to buy winter tires and that'd cost a fair bit of coin.

Man, the Oilers got spanked tonight.

I promise to post daily. I haven't been giving enough Oiler love lately.

2008.210

2008-10-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

I'm 1,000 posts behind.

It seems like I've been gone forever.

It's that time.

That time where I'm not happy with my job.

That it's starting to feel like a job.

If I didn't have a great supervisor, I'd probably be handing in my resignation.

I've been offered other jobs. With different organizations. Throughout this country.

I could move to Ontario (Toronto/Ottawa), Alberta, Saskatchewan or Manitoba.

If it weren't getting so cold out now, I'd probably think about doing any of those immediately.

If I didn't have a great supervisor and me leaving would really cause a lot of unearned stress on someone I genuinely like.

But there's always that one person.

That one person where you work that just has to be a completely clueless control freak.

Who ruins it for everyone.

It's gotten to the point where I'm looking for other jobs.

Next step is updating the resume.

Then it's sending in updated resume and cover letter to potential employers.

Then it's negotiating salary.

Submitting resignation.

Possibly moving.

Possibly starting new somewhere else.

The money would have to be worth the headache of a move to a new place.

The job would have to be worth the headache of a move.

But it's a possibility I'm more than open to.

But to give people the benefit of the doubt, for the first time, I'm going to express my dissatisfaction with the direction of things lately and see if there'll be a change before throwing in the towel.

I can hold out until spring. It'd take me that long to look at other possibilities anyway.

Maybe I've just been on the road far too long.

And here I am. Away for 9 days now. I'll be home for 5 days, then gone again for another 4.

And maybe I just want my own bed.

I'm booking meetings into January now for crying out loud. I already have two trips planned with at least 4 days for each in January.

When the hell did I become that person?

Sorry, my calendar's full, are you available in February?

WTF?

I link this trip with the Oilers downturn. I haven't been able to catch any of the games and they know I'm not watching so they have no motivation to win.

2008.209

2008-10-27T03:05:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to say but not enough time to say it.

I wish I had enough time to blog more.

I wish I had more time to hang out with people.

I wish I had more time to sleep.

Right now my computer clock shows a time of 3:06 am. But, since I'm in Fredericton, NB, it's 7 am and I have a meeting that begins in an hour.

I spent the weekend in Toronto after having meetings there Thursday and Friday.

I usually get a lot of rest and sleep in Toronto.

Not this time.

I took the subway system there.

And survived.

It's not as clean or straightforward as Vancouver's skytrain.

I have some work I need to finish before my meetings.

Hence being up so early.

I should have rented a car while here.

The hotel I'm staying at is along the river.

But everything to do here is a bit of a distance away.

Yonge Street in Toronto is a lot like Las Vegas Boulevard.

You think something is close, but the blocks are freaking long.

I spent Saturday in downtown Toronto with a friend of mine I haven't seen in almost two years.

She lives in Winnipeg and we haven't had time to get together. Everytime we had something set up, something would fall through.

So it was great seeing her.

I can't believe I'm awake.

The flight wasn't that great coming here.

The pilot had trouble keeping the plane level on take-off and landing and when he tried to, he over-compensated so we were basically rocking side to side.

Which brought up morbid thoughts with me.

Like the plane crashing.

So I worked it out in my head what would happen if I died, and who would miss me and how big the funeral would be and who would cry the most.

Yeah, I fly too much.

And it's not ending anytime soon.

After this trip is done (NEXT SUNDAY) I'll be home for five days then flying to Ottawa.

Then when I get back, I'll be flying to Calgary. But that's because of hockey and not work.

blah.

I want a good week of not getting out of bed and getting tonnes of sleep.

Perhaps in December.

But even December isn't looking hot. I have an intense meeting on my day of birth.

Fantastic.

2008.208

2008-10-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

I'm pissed off.

I blame many people.

Myself included.

I mostly blame "unnamed sources", NDP and Green voters.

I blame them because Layton is a douchebag.

If you costed out the NDP platform it'd spiral our country into a deficit that would make us look like Americans.

If you voted for Layton based on his platform, just because you want a free education and free childcare, congratulations, you have neither.

If you voted for the Greens because you care about the environment, congratulations, it's going to get worse.

Dion was a chance for change and we all dropped the ball.

Now the "unnamed sources" are talking about him stepping down.

Look, the problems with the Liberal Party were there long before Dion took the helm. They're still there today. That's not going to change with a new leader.

But thanks for pissing me off.

I'll be spending my time evaluating my participation in a party that puts personal greed and want of power ahead of the good of the country.

The rest of you can imagine living on ichiban for the rest of your lives on your wasted vote of Layton.

And those that voted for Stephen Harper. Congratulations. You get the prime minister you deserve.

Unfortunately so do I.

2008.207

2008-10-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

I'm stuffed.

I spent the morning watching TV and the afternoon taking the kids to see that movie about the dog from Beverly Hills. It was stupid. It was funny. It was crowded. It gave Mom time to make the turkey and bake some pies and tarts. It gave my brother-in-law time to sleep and my sister time to do her homework. And it gave me time with the kids.

We bought their halloween costumes too. My sister usually makes them herself but with her being back in school I didn't think she'd have the time.

My niece is going as: ATHENA! How bizarre, eh.

We're driving up to Edmonton tomorrow so Mom can visit her friend she hasn't seen in forever and we can catch the Oilers game. And see my boy Ryan Smyth. We're in row 18, bitches.

Time to go have apple pie.

2008.206

2008-10-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have a headache.

I'm supposed to meet my brother for dinner tonight, give him the hockey tickets for tonight's game and drop them off at said game.

I'm also supposed to fly out tonight for Calgary for the weekend.

We're looking at driving up to Edmonton on Sunday if we can score tickets to the Avalanche game. So I'm packing my Smytty jersey because I still love him.

My Mom's going to make turkey.

I get to hug and kiss my nieces and nephews.

I used my points to fly Mom to Calgary. I bought 10 travel credits through Air Canada for myself (something around 2K). While booking my seats, I was checking out what seats were assigned to my Mom and what seats so I could sit somewhere close.

Turns out, on my points, she's flying "business class". I'll be passing by her to sit in coach.

I bought the 10 travel credits because I figured I'm going there for a few hockey games and why not pay up front for cheaper than wait for airfares. Plus, pay up front, pay it off, get 700 extra air miles and then fly "free" later.

2008.205

2008-10-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

We might drive up to Edmonton on Sunday, after stuffing our faces with turkey all day Saturday, to catch the Oilers/Avs game. Waiting to hear back from a friend in Edmonton to see if they'll be home for the weekend. If they are, we're on our way. If not, we'll catch the game on HD TV.

Have I said lately how much I love HD TV? If you're still stuck with basic cable, you don't know what you're missing.

Did I mention I've had to add a trip to Ottawa to my travel plans? Yep. Fun stuff.

And then early in January, I'll be going to Winnipeg.

And mid-December, I'm supposed to be in Regina.

I'm starting to sense a pattern. Seems I only travel in the cold months. What's up with that? Is my office trying to send me a message?

2008.204

2008-10-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm off to Calgary tomorrow night for Thanksgiving.

My Mom's also flying in so we'll be flying together.

Dad's staying home because he's a stubborn man sometimes but I'm not going to bother fighting about it.

Totally random but I had a meeting yesterday.

As I've said, my brother's in town but he's staying at a hotel. We talk everyday but don't necessarily see each other everyday. Much like life back home.

So, after the meeting, I was walking down the street with another attendee and what do you know, there's my brother. Ended up giving them a ride to their destination.

Must see him tonight to drop off the Canuck tickets so they can get to the game tomorrow.

One of my friends decided it'd be funny, knowing I'm stuck in meetings, to text me that the Oilers traded Hemsky.

NOT FUNNY

2008.203

2008-10-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

I think I figured out what's been missing in my life.

Since we switched to Bell Expressvu - which, by the way is MILES AND MILES better than Starchoice - I haven't been catch Food TV.

Since I work from home half the time, I'll usually have Food TV on as background noise between 9 am - 10 am. It's a mix-up of Everyday Italian, Barefoot Contessa, Anna's something or other or Tyler's Ultimate. I love Everyday Italian. It's probably the only Italian I can tolerate.

Anyway, I didn't subscribe to Food TV so I haven't had my fix of Giada. I decided to start subscribing and my mornings have just been better.

Now I've been assured by Bell that they're working on getting MSNBC. They called me to ask how I'm liking the service and that was my complaint. I get Faux News, I get CNN, but no MSNBC and I'm missing Keith and now that Rachel has her own show I need that fix.

I think if I post three times a day, I may make up posts quickly.

2008.202

2008-10-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

I did something that made me feel really, really dirty.

The dirtiest I've ever felt.

I had to shower and scrub.

It was so gross and disgusting and demeaning and I swear I lost a bit of my soul after it was all done.

I bought tickets on ebay to see the canucks for a game that doesn't feature the Oilers.

The only team worse than the leafs when paying for tickets.

The flames.

My brother's in town so I've been talking to him daily. On Sunday when we were out and about he asked if I knew anyone who would have tickets to the game on Thursday.

See, my brother loves the Flames.

Ick.

I want DNA tests done.

So, I was scouring e-bay last night and bid on a pair and got them.

Thankfully I won't be tortured with having to attend the game, but it's still pretty gross that "flames/canucks" is showing up on my credit card.

It made him happy though.

So I suppose that makes it a little better.

But it still is disgusting.

2008.201

2008-10-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

Another mad rush to catch up on posts! Woohoo.

Friends. I had a discussion about "friends" with one of my best friends on Friday at dinner. I picked her up at the airport and she treated me with greek food. Nice trade off.

I think friendship is made up of tradeoffs.

If you're always the one doing things for others. It's not a friendship, it's being used.

I don't mind buying dinner, paying for movies, giving people rides to the airport, etc. But where's the balance if I'm the one always giving? There isn't.

I've been thinking of this a lot lately because one of my friends is high maintenance.

With how busy work and life has been, I don't have the time nor do I have the inclination to maintain him/her. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe if, when I was the one that needed to lean on someone, s/he was there for me, I wouldn't be thinking like this.

I've been in a position before where I was used for either my contacts, for my cash, or for my car. I'm not going to be that person that allows herself to be walked all over anymore.

If there's no reciprocity there is no friendship. Plain and simple.

2008.200

2008-10-07T10:46:00.001-07:00

I think there are less than 100 days left in the year and I'm probably 70 posts behind my goal of 365 posts this year.

I blame work.

And other things.

I'm going to be in Ottawa now the week after I get back from Fredericton.

Boo hoo.

Whoa is me.

I voted already.

You should too.

If you believe the fundamentals of our economy is strong, I'd like to introduce you to my portfolio that has taken such a hit that it has ME worried. I was supposed to have a nice cushion by this time next year to be able to put down money on a place of my own.

If you think the fundamentals of our economy are sound, I'd like to introduce you to my neighbourhood. I have never seen so many for sale signs staying for so long. Usually you have a a for sale sign up and someone moving in within a few weeks. Now the signs are staying longer.

If you believe our environment is okay, I'd like to introduce to the polar ice caps that are melting beyond even the wildest imaginations of even conservative scientists.

If you believe that we live in a bubble here, I'd like to introduce you to the income trust tax that was introduced awhile ago. It left a lot of our companies vulnerable to foreign takeover.

Who owns The Bay? Just one example.

Yeah, our CPP is okay, it's shielded. But I can't borrow against my CPP for a down payment. This economy has set me back another year on savings. The hit was brutal.

So I voted already.

Say what you will about the Liberals but they know how to steer the ship during an economic storm.

Say what you will about Stephane, but he's shown leadership in this election. Staying on course, on message. The mainstream media probably doesn't cover it as much as they could. Don't get me started. I don't watch the news much anymore.

I get my source of news online and figure out on my own.

The conservatives have no ambition beyond control. Not for you. Not for me. And that isn't a comforting thought.

2008.199

2008-10-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

What to do, what to do.

My schedule:

Oct. 21/22: meetings in Vancouver
Oct. 22: Fly to Toronto
Oct. 23: Meetings in Toronto
Oct. 23 - 26: visit friends in Toronto
Oct. 26 - 29: fly to Fredericton for meetings
Oct. 29 - Nov 2: visit friends in Toronto

Problems. BIG PROBLEMS.

Hockey schedule:

October 25, 2008: Edmonton Oilers @ Vancouver Canucks

F*CK!!!!!

Do I fly home for two days to catch a hockey game? Last time I did that, I ended up getting far too sick to see the game I wanted to see.

I've already told my friend I'd be hanging out at her place and she's arranging a poker game for the 25th as well.

Basically I'm stuck hanging out in t-dot but not too pleased with the prospect of missing another Oilers game.

This job, while affording me the luxury of being able to see a lot of Oilers games, is also the reason why I'll be missing two of their games here in Vancouver.

This is making the case for me to fly to Calgary for Thanksgiving - something I thought about not doing - and maybe driving to Edmonton to catch the Avs game.

On another note.

It's weird how time keeps ticking along, you're going about your life, you're remembering close friends you've lost contact with.

Suddenly your phone rings. You look at the number and it doesn't show the name so it's not somebody in your address book but you recognize the area code and you try remember where the area code is from. You decide to answer. Suddenly a familiar voice is saying your name and you spend the next few hours catching up on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

There are those that will always be a part of your life, in some form or another. Those that you can just start catching up with, reminiscing. It's comforting to know.

2008.198

2008-10-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

The problem with dreams is you eventually wake up from them. And sometimes you're actually awake when you wake up for them.

I've thought about blogging. Especially with everything going on and the desire to vent. The problem is, with everything going on, I don't even have time to vent.

Sleep to dream her/him. Sometimes you wake up and you want to go right back to sleep.

Sometimes you wake up and you realize that you're living a nightmare.

I'm off to Toronto late October and instead of coming home, I'm staying there. Forever. Well, not really, just the weekend since I have to fly to Fredericton after that. I've never been to New Brunswick before so it should be interesting.

But dreams. I'm so disappointed that I woke up too early today.

I just want to sleep.

I'm hoping by mid-week next week, life will get less hectic.

2008.197

2008-09-23T10:19:00.001-07:00

Reason #593 on why I dislike canuck fans.

Their team is going to suck this year. Everyone knows it.

Yes, they beat Edmonton in a shootout last night but that's because Horcoff wasn't participating in the shootout and Garon wasn't on his game.

It's not going to happen in the regular season. They're going to stink.

So the canucks make the game in December against the Oilers "Linden" night. Where they're retiring the number of a player whose statistics don't merit retirement but he's "the heart" of the canucks.

As a result, ticket prices are jacked up. I saw a listing on e-bay for $900! By the time December rolls around there's a good chance the canucks will be 3-15-4 or something. In other words, sucking. The only reason they'll be able to sell tickets at that jacked up price is because of Linden.

Which makes it hard for an Oil fan such as myself to get tickets. I'll wind up biting the bullet and paying but it certainly won't be to see Linden's number go up to the rafters. It's to cheer on the copper and blue.

I hope the Oilers win that game by a score of 10-0. And also, the Oilers don't do well with game delays due to retirement ceremonies. Another reason why the Canucks suck. They probably know that.

Fuckers.

I hate them and their fans.

On the back of my new Edge, I'm going to get the Oilers logo put on my window. Boo yah.

2008.196

2008-09-17T23:10:00.000-07:00

I've been in meetings every. day. this. week.

The one on Monday was boring as hell.

The past two days was basically a staff meeting/retreat/strategic planning. It's had good mixed with bad.

In order for me to feel less guilty of not buying an environmentally vehicle, I picked up co-workers and we carpooled.

I got home, fed the stupid pets and was planning on skipping out on an event a friend signed me up for but I couldn't. I received a text message saying, "LISTEN SAYING NO IS NOT AN OPTION! GET DRESSED AND GET GOING"

I felt guilty so I got dressed and went. It was a fundraiser/gala and it was a "free" meal.

The mother of Montreal's new hot goaltender was in attendance and she along with her son donated a bunch of autographed stuff to auction off.

My friend was bidding on an autographed picture but stop bidding when it reached $250.00. I kept telling her to bid but she chickened out.

The next item was an autographed stick. I stopped bidding when the price his $400.00.

The last item was an autographed jersey. I stopped bidding on my own when it hit $450.00. Then my friends with me said we should do a joint bid amongst the three of us.

I stopped bidding when it got to $600 ($200 a piece). Then I started bidding again at $800.00 after a discussion amongst the three of us.

Then the bidding was $900 and the person was going once, twice, and I stuck my hand up to bid $925.00. I figured if we were going to bid $800 why not bid $925.00.

We won.

I'm a 1/3 owner of an autographed jersey. His Mom came up to congratulate us on the purchase.

Since it was my hand flying up and down people thought I bid on my own and kept congratulating me.

I haven't even spent this kind of money on Oilers memorabilia and I was feeling a little guilty but then I thought of the cause the money is going to and felt a bit better.

I don't have custody of it first. I'll be getting it next month. We're quite sure this is going to end up in a court hearing.

We've also decided we're going to see a hockey game in la belle province.

2008.195

2008-09-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

The new facebook layout totally sucks. ASS! I hate it. I don't like logging into facebook anymore. It looks like someone threw up a bunch of information and left it as is.

So, I've gone to simply twittering everything. It's simple, I'm following Barack Obama on twitter at www.twitter.com/BarackObama, I'm following the Liberals at www.twitter.com/LiberalTour and a bunch of other people including some little foreign Bangladeshi dude.

So long as twitter doesn't turn into facebook I'm good to go.

I'm supposed to go to the riding office tonight and volunteer but after a LONG BORING MEETING I'm too exhausted and may just scrounge for food and go to bed.

Especially since I have two more days of boring meetings ahead.

My meeting in Winnipeg was cancelled because of this election. Go figure. Another reason not to vote for Harper.

We did get our Oilers tickets and they look better than last year's. Man, I can't wait until we get full-fledged season tickets.

2008.194

2008-09-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

After months and months of only travelling locally, I'm going to get some serious jet lag next month.

Beginning week after next I'm first off to Kamloops, then in October it's Winnipeg, Toronto and Fredericton.

This was just after I told my local riding association my schedule is free. At this point, I'm lucky I'll be in town to vote on election day.

Yesterday, I was at the office the whole day so was a bit steamed I missed seeing Stephane Dion speak.

Blah.

2008.193

2008-09-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

Well this totally sucks. I've been doing my best to buy things - no matter what the cost - that promotes local/national businesses and less goods that are made in other countries. For example, buying a Ford.

It's something I've been doing regarding political/positional beliefs as well. For example, ironically, even though she's very liberal, I don't pay to see any movies with Susan Sarandon. Why? Because I remember an article on her when she was protesting for the release of a cop killer in Philadelphia. Same with Rage Against the Machine. Love them. Won't buy their music because they put up a benefit concert for the same cop killer.

Now, after a glass of wine yesterday and reading my rss feeds, a link in a site directed me to a list of celebrities who have made political donations.

I've always known there was a reason why I loved Edward Norton.

Dammit, I can't find the website to link to.

Suffice it to say, Dean Koontz has donated thousands and thousands to the RNC and various presidential candidates.

I LOVE reading Dean Koontz novels. I look forward to new releases.

But if I'm going to judge liberal supporters harshly and not support their endeavors financially, shouldn't I do the same for conservative supporters?

Knowledge is sometimes not power.

2008.192

2008-09-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a great day to go kayaking.

Christian, our instructor, was fantastic. There was just my friend and I, along with Christian and we were out there for four freakin' hours.

I can't believe how far we went.

New lesson: for canoeing, you pull when rowing. For kayaking, you push, or your arms will get sore. It's easy to learn when you're out there for four hours or you'd be too sore to get back to the dock.

Definitely going to do it again next weekend.

It could be an expensive hobby. So we're looking at purchasing our own kayaks.

The great thing is, unlike cycling or running in this city, you can pretty much kayak no matter what the weather.

In fact, I'd probably prefer kayaking with light rain so all the frat boys with boats won't be barrelling up and down the inlet.

I took some pictures but I'm too lazy to upload right now. Plus, I haven't even uploaded all my pictures to facebook of the family's visit.

If you know of anyone who's selling a nice kayak, give me their digits. I'd prefer one in red or blue. Actually, red. Those look sweet on the water.

Christian told us about a 6 day trip they took up to Clayquot during the summer. I may make it my goal to take that trip next summer.

Seriously, this is a fantastic exercise and you're totally one with nature.

And harper is a tool.

2008.191

2008-09-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a busy day with working and then meeting the peanut gallery for dinner then driving out to UBC to pick up a friend so we can go to the ferry to pick up her friends. They're going to Europe for 6 weeks and had some boxes with their bikes in them and my new crossover is coming in handy for transporting I guess.

The peanut gallery was late, thus making me late.

We went to our usual spot of Earl's.

The peanut gallery was in usual form. He claims that being in some Bangladeshi prison for 4 months makes it socially acceptable to do death stares at the cleavage area of our servers. And even those that aren't our servers. I decided to make a comment saying, "Our waitress is cute" because she was. And he went really red. Here's proof:

The problem with his excuse is, it doesn't explain all the death stares he did prior to his trip to prison.

One of the servers passed by with a nice set obviously aided by some surgeon and the peanut gallery blushed again. I said, "yeah, nice, but she has a tattoo down her back that would be distracting." And he replied, "yeah but I won't see it" to which I replied, "in certain circumstances you would." and the poor innocent boy had to think about circumstances where he'd see the distracting tattoo. I still don't think he gets it. I hope someone explains it to him.

2008.190

2008-09-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

Bad blogger, bad!

Did I say I bought a new vehicle? A Ford Edge?

I didn't even get the usual peanut gallery comments that I expected from the cheese. Man, that boy needs meat on his bones.

My niece and I picked him up to go cellphone shopping and he was adamant that we listen to Folsom Prison Blues by Everlast the entire time. I didn't argue. You spend four months in a Bangladeshi prison you should be able to listen to whatever music you want for the 10 minutes you're in my vehicle.

Went down to the Gorge to see DMB. They still rock. It was a bit of "letting go" happening too. Turned into an interesting adventure.

I'm going to start kayaking. First lessons, then renting a kayak for day trips, then buying one and storing it.

Yes, you read that right. One of my favourite memories of Australia was kayaking. I don't spend enough time around the water and I miss it. A friend and I are going to start this week and go at least once a week after that.

I've tried posting a picture of my sweet, sweet ride, but blogger's being a b*tch, as usual.

2008.189

2008-08-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

I bought a 2008 Ford Edge. Navy blue.

Very sweet.

I drove to Kamloops on Saturday to meet the parents and rugrats.

How it all went down:

I decided to buy the Edge, primarily because of the vista sunroof. I have an aversion to closed in spaces after driving a convertible for years. And the sunroof on the Edge is the best out of all the vehicles I was looking at.

So, having decided to buy the Edge, I called the salesman I was working with and told him I wanted it in red with dvd navigation and the sunroof. I even told him what dealership he could find it. We set up an appointment to stop by the dealership before I went to the bank so I'd know exactly how much I'd need.

I get to the dealership. I ask to look at the vehicle. They tell me they don't have it, that I can pick it up on Monday. Huh? Throughout this entire process they keep hounding me, telling me that once I make up my mind, they can have the vehicle for me at the snap of the fingers.

I had to drive over a bridge to get to the dealership, but it takes 3 days for them to get over a bridge with a car? I told them if I'm paying X amount of dollars for a new vehicle, I should get it the same day I pay for it. For some reason, they think this is unreasonable. They had all day to pick it up. They didn't. They told me that they had to wait until I paid fully for it. I said if they had have told me that earlier, I could have dropped off money earlier instead of messing around all day.

They still say they can have it first thing Monday morning for me. Not good enough. I even ask if I can pay for it and pick it up at the other dealership. I'm told no.

I hate being told no, and I hate being told what I can and cannot do. I know my own limitations, I don't need anyone telling me what they are.

They're giving major attitude, like there's something wrong with me for believing I can pick it up the very same day. I get the whole, "I've been selling cars for 17 years and you don't pick it up the same day you buy it." In ALL those 17 years nobody's left the lot with a car after they bought it? I know one person that did. When I bought my first car, I drove off with it the very same day I plunked down money for it.

I was disagreeing with their opinion on this so the salesman turned around and told me, "If you think you can pick up the car the same day from the dealer, go find one."

And I did. I called the dealer that they inadvertently told me had my car and asked if I came in with the money, would they give me the car the same day. They said of course they would. I stopped by my bank, stopped by the house to drop off my car and hitched a ride to the dealership. I was welcomed with open arms. I suppose they found it strange that I was walking in and buying a car, sight unseen.

But believe me, I researched a wide range of vehicles before I settled on this. So if they had the colour and the style in stock, I don't need to look at it again.

And man, I love it. LOVE IT!

We went to see House Bunny last night. Of course it's not the greatest movie ever but it's pretty freakin' funny. The girls loved it.

2008.188

2008-08-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

Who I would like to punch in the face:

Edmonton Oilers

Yes, you read that right.

I'm pissed off with the Oilers.

Not the team itself, per se, but the Oilers sales office.

Last year we bought 4 Oiler mini-packs to see 6 games. They were two pairs, one row apart from each other, which is essentially 6 seats between us, plus the stairs. Not bad.

Because we purchased those, we were given a code for an advance purchase sale as a returning customer.

The problem being of course, so was everyone else. Because the Oilers are Team Awesome this year, more people who signed up last year were returning this year.

So here's what happened.

I logged in, couldn't find 4 seats together, went back, found 2 together in one section and 2 together in another. There was some glitch and it brought me back to the front page. Then I guess half a million other Oiler fans signed in so I was stuck in a "lobby" waiting in queue to get back in. If your account is inactive and you haven't added anything to your cart in 5 minutes, it releases the tickets you were holding. I was hung up in the lobby for about 20 minutes. So when I finally got back in, it already released my seats. And I couldn't find tickets again. Not where I wanted.

Granted, there were other mini-packs available and I'm sure if I looked at them, I would have gotten a pair through one of them. The problem is, I live in Vancouver. My sister lives in Calgary. We can only attend weekend games. Some of the other packs had awesome games. Like the Leafs coming to town for the first time in years. I should have bought those just to sell them and recover costs since it was the middle of the week game.

I had my sister call the Oilers and leave our account representative a voicemail. I then sent a harshly worded email.

I'm no fan of the Canucks but I kindly told my Oilers representative that the way the Canucks handle their mini-packs (called half season tickets, etc.) is much better than how the Oilers handle it.

They should have looked at what you bought and the seats you had and asked if you wanted them again this year. We would have kindly said yes. For those that weren't returning, their seats could be thrown into a lotto and given dibs to others who had purchased, or thrown to the general population.

Yes, the Oilers are having a general population mini-pack draw too. Yes, we signed up for them. But it's a stupid way to do business considering we were trying to be returning customers.

I was soo pissed off yesterday at everything and everyone.

Then I got two pieces of good news.

My car purchase is going pretty good now. I should be getting a new vehicle this weekend or early next. The issue is colour of the car and features I want included. I figure if I'm going to get a car, it might as well have everything I want in it. Men just don't understand the importance of colour on the inside and out. I want a new car that is a colour I can live with. Yes the light blue has all the features I want. BUT IT'S LIGHT BLUE! And BEIGE on the inside. I gave my colour choices in order of preference: red, blue, black. The interior MUST be black. There's no getting around this. Showing me a light blue, then a grey and then a white isn't going to cut it. I don't care if the pricing will change in a week. I'll wind up hating them and wanting to punch them in the face if they have me fade out and just get a colour I hate.

So, they found a red one, with the features I like (vista sunroof, navigation, NOT 20" wheels!) that's black inside. How hard was that? You just look through stock, it's not rocket science.

And for whatever reason, my bank's sending me a computer. When applying for my car loan, she noticed I did a fair bit of email money transfers (for when I owe co-workers money, or am sending my sister some money) and they cost $1.50 per transaction. She told me if I upgraded my account and paid $1 more in service fees (don't get me started on that rant) I get two free email money transfers a month. Then yesterday, for whatever reason, I received a letter saying I met all the conditions for a PC. Huh? I thought it was a joke. It wasn't. Bizarre. It's not the greatest computer in the world, and I wouldn't necessarily say it's free, but I'm getting it in 5-10 business days. My parents and the kids should be here tomorrow. When I was talking about my cousin's new laptop to my Mom she said, "Oh when you get tired of yours and buy a new one, you can give us yours." Given this is a black macbook and it cost me a pretty penny, I don't see myself getting tired of it anytime soon. So I can give them the one I got for "free".

I'm seeing DMB next weekend. A WEEK FROM TODAY!!!! I can't wait. I've been in a funk since their saxophonist died earlier this week. You get the chance, download a copy of any live version of the song Two Step, and you'll hear what a complete genius he was at what he did.

You know what happens when you don't race your own race? You come in 8th. I'm so glad I didn't PVR Adam Van Koeverden's race this morning, it would have been a waste. Carries the Canadian flag into the opening ceremonies as our odds on favourite to bring home gold and he placed 8th. After killing the field to advance to the finals. You have to feel sorry for him. But after reading his interview, he wasn't racing his race. He was concentrating too much on the field in the race and not enough on how he will race. Poor guy. He finished better than I ever would have.

2008.187

2008-08-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

People who I want to punch in the face part 3 (or 4, I forget).

I have a lot of news sites on my google reader. The Huffington Post being one. So every morning I wake up with about 50+ stories to scan through. Eighty percent of the time, I scan through them and just look for catch phrases that interest me.

This morning there was a story on the US-born son of illegal immigrants who won gold at the Olympics. The author then stated, "only can happen in America".

I hate that. I want to punch people in the face that believe the United States is the ONLY country in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD who can have stories of coming from abject poverty to success. That ONLY the US is capable of such feats like this and that's what makes them SO SPECIAL.

That him waving around the US flag because he's so honoured to be in America is a story so unique that no other athletes could ever understand.

Two people for you:

Daniel Igali, gold medalist, Canada, Sydney Olympics, wrestling
Carol Huynh, gold medalist, Canada, Beijing Olympics, wrestling

Daniel claimed refugee status in Canada due to political unrest in his native Nigeria. When he won gold in Sydney, he put the Canadian flag in the middle of the ring and ran around it crying. That scene was played on every news cast, published in virtually every paper.

Carol Huynh's parents were sponsored by the United Church in a small Northern BC town, from their native Vietnam. When she went home in April, the first time in almost 2 years, the local volunteer fire department set up a car wash and raised $3,000 to assist in getting her parents to Beijing to watch her wrestle.

After she won her bout, she grabbed a Canadian flag, was hoisted on her coaches' shoulders and cried while waving the flag around.

Stories like this happen in Canada, too. Granted, we're a small country. Only 30 million plus people. But we do have success stories. But we'll never say, "this story would only be possible in Canada." BECAUSE WE KNOW THEY HAPPEN ALL OVER!

2008.186

2008-08-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

People I'd like to punch in the face:

I've stated before that the way people chew food irritates the HELL out of me. If they're loud, chew with their mouth open, chew like they're cows, I lose my appetite. It's really irritating. And it's twice as irritating that they don't know they're doing it.

Well, there's a certain dog commercial here where it shows various sized dogs chewing on their crunchy dog food and it MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH the person who came up with this concept in the face.

We wouldn't want to see a kid chewing food like these dogs chew food so why do they think it's a good idea to hear dogs eating up food like that on a big screen tv at loud decibels? There are other ways to promote dog food. There's no need for this crap and I HATE that I see the commercial once a day no matter what I'm watching or if I'm even just watching The Daily Show.

If I ever get another dog again, I'm never buying it that stupid brand of dog food on principle alone.

PS: I remember watching one of the final episodes of, I believe it was The Amazing Race 2, when they made this run from behind to pass the leaders and win the race. I was jumping up and down like an idiot yelling, "Run!" at the tv. I did that again last night. There were so many times that Simon Whitfield was out of the race, fell so far behind the three lead runners going into the final km. Then, all of a sudden he throws off his hat and runs the run of his life. He passed three of them and was making a break for it with 200 metres to go. He was overtaken by some German but the very fact he captured a silver was amazing. I was so happy for him. It was an amazing run.

For all the naysayers of our Rona-working Olympians, we're only two off the pace of Athens and with Van Koeverden still racing, we have a chance to match that.

Yeah, I know, some swimmer in the states won 9 medals. He also had a bevy of trainers, doctors, therapists, people to cook for him, and could concentrate on just swimming. Good for him.

But good for our athletes for going there and giving their all.

2008.185

2008-08-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

Here's something you should never do. Ask me a question you want an honest answer from. Like, "Why?" It'll get me thinking about the why and make me realize it was a mistake. Which will lead me to making sure the mistake isn't repeated.

For all my brilliance, I'm not the smartest cookie. I act on emotion, free will, etc., without thinking sometimes. What's the harm, right?

But when I have time to think about it, I'll recognize the mistake and correct it or minimize the negative impact that could happen.

Or, I could get drunk, tell a friend, have her look at me for a brief second with a, "what the hell is wrong with you?" look and realize I'm truly fucked up and stop making stupid decisions.

It's been hella hot here. Hello, climate change, you're not my friend.

With the humidity playing a huge factor, it hit over 40 degrees this weekend.

I played some poker Saturday night and didn't do too well. I got bored halfway through and just wanted to go home. Plus I was severely hungover.

Yesterday I watched Nascar. Yes, you read that right, shopped, cleaned up and formulated my thoughts on how to correct my mistakes. I did that today. Hopefully I'll be able to follow through. Don't judge me on Nascar. I just have this weird crush on Carl Edwards and he won, so I was all kinds of happy.

It'll help with family coming down later this week until Labour Day.

You know, the one area I've changed in, is the fact that before, if the DMB concert at the Gorge happened the same time family was here, I'd cancel DMB. But now I give them warnings in advance that I'm going away for a few days and they're on their own. And I don't feel guilty about it. There are far too pleasures in life and you should seize them, so long as it's not hurting others, at every opportunity.

2008.184

2008-08-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

I think I'll continue on with people I want to punch in the face. It's therapeutic and believe me, I definitely need therapy of some sort.

So, instead of paying for therapy, I'm just going to tell you about people who piss me off so much I wouldn't mind punching them in the face. At least I may make a post more than sporadically.

I would like to punch in the face every Canadian who complains about our Olympians and their lack of medals at the Olympics.

Yeah, it totally sucks.

But you know what also sucks? The fact that everytime our government gives money to Olympic hopefuls to train, we all get in a tizzy saying we should be spending money on health care or other social program instead of wasting it on athletes then the government of the day gets all scared they'll be voted out so they cut funding, or just give pennies.

Meanwhile, all these athletes are doing their best with what little they have. Comparitively, to other countries, we don't give much to our athletes. The US pays their athletes to train, gives them a heck of a lot of money if they win, and provides the tools to success.

Australia became a powerhouse because they invested a lot of money before they hosted the Olympics in 2000.

China has a billion people.

Of course they're going to kick our ass.

Our athletes are working at Home Depot and trying to train while others train exclusively.

And when the Olympics roll around and a week into it we have no medals people start whining and complaining.

How's that medicare working for you? Did you miss a surgery because an athlete might have received $10k?

Let's not forget we're not a big country population wise. And we care more about Little Allison getting her daycare subsidized than we do about an athlete owning the podium.

2010 will be interesting, that's for sure.

As someone who's generally lazy (I'm on a workout plan right now but I am nowhere near disciplined as an athlete) I admire those who follow their dreams despite all odds. The very fact they're good enough to get to Beijing is good enough for me considering we do more to quash their dreams than support them.

And let's not forget there are a lot of athletes who are currently cheating in the Olympics. In the next few years there'll be a story about some athletes being stripped of their medals because of inappropriate drug use while at the Olympics (Marion Jones, anyone?) and all of those 4th place finishes we had will suddenly be bumped up.

It's not an even playing field. The endorsement possibilities for atheletes are just too great to pass up the opportunity to take a shortcut to greatness.

If I only hear O Canada at the Olympics once, I'm fine with it. If you're not, punch yourself in the face for me and tell me how good it felt.

2008.183

2008-08-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out for a friend's birthday dinner at Joe Fortes. Truth be told, it was my first time there since I've heard both good and bad and it's downtown on a busy street and I couldn't be bothered to put up with traffic. But it's the place they chose and I'd agreed to show up.

Between the 7 of us, the bill came to $880.00. Not bad considering all the drinks and seafood we ordered. And they gave us a free sample of prawns for the birthday boy.

My order? Mussels (appetizer, love it, shared it: $17.50), a mojito ($8.85), a glass of wine (bottle cost $56 was supposed to be divided by the three of us who ordered it) from a bottle of wine we ordered to go with our surf and turf (5 oz steak with prawns $29). How much did it cost me? $140.00! Why so much? Because people don't know how to pay for their own meal! I didn't want the birthday boy and his wife to pay for the majority of it. This couple ordered appetizers of oysters, crab cakes, and the 3-tier seafood platter. Along with about 4 glasses of wine and 4 gin & tonics. Their total? $215.00. HUH? The 3-tier seafood platter is about $145.00 on it's own. Then there's the glasses of wine that run about $8 each, same with the gin & tonics, appetizers, taxes and gratuities (which is 15% that's added on). How in the hell does that add up to the $215 they included?

Then this other dude, who I guess is used to people paying for him, paid $50. I guess because he didn't order the wine, but drank my share, and didn't order the appetizers, but ate half of them, the only thing he had to pay for were his drinks and his meal, plus taxes and gratiuties.

The friend I invited along also had just as much as I did, except she drank more wine than I did since I was driving (I had one glass with my meal and even the glass was just half full and the mojito at the beginning of the meal and it wasn't a big glass either and we were there for 5 hours). She paid $140 as well. So between the 5 of us, which left over $300 for the couple. I felt bad, hence paying for the bottle of wine I didn't drink since others were too cheap to pay for their own meal.

Come on, yeah the meal was expensive. But nobody forced us to eat there. If you can't afford to pay for the meal, don't order it or don't show up. Certainly don't make others pay for your way.

It kind of pissed me off. I shouldn't have to overpay for others because they're too cheap and neither should my friend.

/end rant

2008.182

2008-08-12T22:08:00.001-07:00

Why aren't there very many songs lately about punching someone in the face? All these girlie songs on stupid emotions, relationships, being a hoochie, drinking cristal, etc. Yet very few songs about the sheer joy one can get from thinking about, dreaming about, and wanting to punch someone in the face.

It's interesting analyzing another person's relationships. A friend of mine broke up with his partner of about 4 years after his partner got back from completing his master's degree back east. And against my advice, he went out and got involved with someone else. He said it's casual, the dude is younger than he is and he's getting over his past relationship, but he's not giving himself time to get over his broken relationship. He has a fear of being alone. I don't know why people are so afraid of being alone. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Oh yeah, the new dude is obviously using him. He stopped by his place at 7 am to ask for $20, asked to borrow his car, where my friend had to bum a ride home from someone else, etc.

He's repeating patterns and mistakes in previous relationships.

Perhaps that's why I'm single. I'm still attracted to prick bastards and I know this. So I know that eventually it'll lead to me wanting to punch someone in the face so it's easier just to cut out all the bullshit and just want to punch someone in the face.

2008.181

2008-08-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Blogging isn't a priority for me right now. I have too much work going on and other work going on that isn't paying me a penny.

But it's for my uncle and it's important to me that he and my Dad remain on friendly terms so I'll do the things he asks me to do and know that it's for the greater good.

So, I met this dude. You know, girls, trust your instincts. If guys come on too fast, there's always a reason and it's never good.

This dude was just a tad strange. Nice enough, but strange. For instance, he said he'd give me his number but he never did. So all I gave him was my email address. I rarely give out my phone number and it saves me from a lot of drama. Those of you that have it should consider yourself lucky. It was a long while before my brother had it and it was only because he was coming to town did he get it.

Then while driving home I realized what it was. The odd behaviour that is. He's married. So, I sent him an email telling him I know he's married. I haven't heard from him at all.

Which to me pretty much confirms it because prior to that he was coming on way too strong.

Last week I talked for hours and hours with a friend of mine who spent the vast majority of it convincing me to apply for a certain job. She said if I don't apply by a certain time, she's going to apply on my behalf. I believe she will. She thinks I've outgrown the job I have now and it's time to step it up a notch. I have until the end of this month to decide or she decides for me.

I have a couple of more weeks until DMB and the Gorge and I can't wait. It's sad that it's the only thing exciting happening this summer. Next summer I plan on taking a month off and going to Europe. Well, either the summer or the spring.

2008.180

2008-08-03T15:27:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of buying a new vehicle states side.

If I can get a fully loaded Liberty for under 30k, or a Ford Edge with all the features I want for under 30k, or a Buick Enclave for under 30k, including GST, it may be worth my while.

And it looks like I can.

I'll just have to wait for our dollar to get closer to the par level, and go from there.

If it means saving $8k of my own money, why not.

We get ripped off buying vehicles here with that big of a price difference.

And so long as the car I buy is made in North America, I wouldn't have to pay duty.

Seriously considering this.

May take a day off work sometime just to do price comparison.

A lot of dealers around Bellingham have incentives for Canadian buyers.

Stuff like gas, hotel, meals, etc.

2008.179

2008-08-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Shit is going to hit the fan. It's either good or bad.

I typed an email last week and sent it out, cc'ing my parents.

Apparently it was a powerful email.

It has many talking about how smart I am.

So smart that it scares some.

This blog isn't a proper reflection of my writing skills.

It's more a diary to myself to remember aspects of my life I may forget.

But when something's important - really important - I put a lot of thought into it and give it a proper sendoff.

Which is what I did.

Now I'm getting phone calls and emails from people I never expected to hear from.

I don't know where this will lead.

I'm quite content where I am now, despite being busy as all get out.

But if the call came to go home, I don't know how I could ignore it.

2008.178

2008-07-31T10:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Left alone to think, get my bearings, develop an action plan. Instead I feel suffocated. And then I develop pent-up rage. Yes, I know sometimes that's unreasonable. I recognize that the people I'm most likely to take my anger out on aren't the ones responsible for said anger so I let it build up and take it out on drivers that piss me off by flipping them the bird.

Sometimes I want to throw my cellphone into the wall. Leave me alone. I don't need to hear how your life is. I'm sure it's fabulous. I'm sure part of the fabulousness is at my expense. Literally.

Today is one of those days where I just want people gone, just want people to leave me alone, just want people to get out of my way, just want people to fuck off.

Yes, that's unreasonable.

But then so are some of the pressures put on me.

And there's bound to be blow back as a result.

Ironically this has nothing to do with my brother and his family being here. It's been a nice visit. But I just need time to myself. I can't develop a plan with my mind being pulled in a million different directions.

Even the damn cat is pissing me off. I wish my roommate would take the fucking time to brush the stupid cat's fur so she's not coughing up furballs all over the fucking place. It's not that hard. You sit there and watch tv for an hour petting the stupid cat, why not do it with a brush?

See? Stupid shit is pissing me off right now and it has nothing to do with hormones. It has everything to do with life sucking sometimes.

I thought maybe I'd have the weekend to myself but my roommate's decided to come home early and are probably going to be back today after being scheduled to return on Sunday. So I won't even have the weekend.

Life fucking sucks sometimes.

And what's with all this bullshit about loving someone to death. Why not loving someone to life? Why wait until death or to death to love someone completely?

The dog's barking now. Even he's pissing me off. I've threatened to muzzle him. I wish I could muzzle a whole lot of other people too.

2008.177

2008-07-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

So, they're leaving tomorrow. They're out at a movie right now - 3D IMax - so I have the house to myself and I'm on my own bed while my sheets are being washed along with my duvet cover because I was feeding my nephew cookies and having fun watching him make a mess and forgot the mess was all over my bed.

I started reading this one blog and the person seems like s/he's very full of him/herself. I'm not sure if it's arrogance or just lack of self-awareness on the fact that s/he comes across as arrogance. I'll continue reading until I decide which category s/he falls into.

Blogging in and of itself is a form of narcissism, duh.

So, my awesome trip to New York is cancelled. I had the option of fixing my car or going to New York. I'm not pleased with how much it's costing me to fix. I'm totally not. But I'll put up with it since at the end of it's life, my car has been a lot of fun. And it's not nearly the end. After the latest repairs, aside from a few cosmetic things that need fixing, it'll be on it's a-game.

I hate it when people call and leave arbitrary messages. I've called them back and left arbritrary messages as a rebuttal and they haven't learned.

I've been so freakin' insanely busy I totally forgot it's a long weekend this weekend and made no plans whatsoever so a friend and I may check out The Dark Knight in I-Max since I'm obviously not going anywhere, especially with car repair costs.

I'm supposed to go car shopping with another friend but she just brought her father back from a mexican hospital, I don't want to impose something so frivolous on her when she's nursing him back to health.

Even I'm not that selfish. Who knows, maybe I'll find a poker game. I randomly ran into a friend at a store a few days ago and we talked about playing poker sometime soon.

Seriously. It could take over my life if I let it. A friend called earlier asking me if I wanted to go play a few games and if my brother wasn't here I probably would have.

2008.176

2008-07-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

I love my brother.

And his kids.

But.

Man they can be brats.

And stubborn.

And disrespectful.

Yes, accidents happen, if you believe in accidents. I believe it's more lack of attention and environmental influences.

Take yesterday for example. We went out for dinner before going to a movie. My niece was colouring away and she ended up dumping her drink.

NOBODY got up to clean it up. Not my brother, not my sister-in-law (who I tolerate), not my niece (she's 7) and the waiter just grabbed a towel but left it up to us to clean it up. Thanks, dude, I hope you enjoyed the tip!

I gave the towel to my niece and said she should clean up her spilled drink. Stubborn as all get out. Wouldn't move. My sil's son started cleaning it up. I ended up having to help because it was going to drip into my territory.

And the kids don't finish everything they order. Which isn't a problem given they're kids but if their parents know they won't finish it, why order it for them in the first place? Shouldn't they order one meal for two kids? Stuff like that pisses me off. Very wasteful. And how do you tell this to them without inferring they're bad parents. Overall they're good parents, the kids aren't ignored, beaten, abused, etc. You know they love them. That's obvious.

But at what cost? My brother felt sorry for my niece with the lecture I gave her on cleaning up after herself and I said, "yeah, accidents happen but what kind of lesson are you teaching her if she doesn't learn how to clean up after her mistakes?"

I'm so glad we saw the movie, "Wall-E". It allowed me to bring up "our" wasteful ways here and how much we just throw away with little regard.

They also bought a whole case of bottled water. I don't buy water. Haven't in a long time. I drink tap water or I make juice with tap water.

They decided to stay another day and won't be leaving until tomorrow. Wonderful. I was kind of looking forward to time alone while my roommate was on vacation this week. Now as it stands I may just have a day or two.

The good news is we've been having fun, other than the above pet peeves.

I'm working today since I took yesterday off. I have no idea what they'll be doing while I'm off.

They like my tv and satellite and stayed up late last night playing some monopoly game on TV.

After some careful consideration, I'm 75% certain I'll be buying the Jeep Liberty. The mygig feature is the selling point. I love it. I think about it. I've been looking for it's equal in other vehicles (Nissan, GM, Ford, VW, etc.) and haven't found it at all.

2008.175

2008-07-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

In my quest to become more environmentally aware, whenever possible, I take skytrain to meetings.

For example, last week I had meetings downtown, then a meeting on the Northshore. The meeting downtown was being attended by a co-worker who would then be driving to the office. So she could give me a ride to my meeting as well.

I actually don't mind public transit. It doesn't hurt that I get reimbursed for costs. I'm sure the office is happier to be paying $2.50 for transit as opposed to $12.00 for parking and plus mileage. And I don't get caught in traffic.

Unless it's days like today. Man the bus driver on my home was an absolute asshole. Thankfully I had my iPod with me so I didn't have to listen to him being a jerk.

I'm exhausted, I still need to clean up and my brother's about an hour and a half away.

They're obviously running late. Which works well since I was at meetings all day. Normally I'd clean up during my lunch hour but I wasn't near home at that time.

I'm leaving my Oilers jerseys hanging on the wall and hoping my brother doesn't deface them while he's here.

Back to cleaning.

2008.174

2008-07-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

My brother and his family are coming to visit for a couple of days. They get here tonight, leave sometime Wednesday morning. It's a whirlwind trip. I'm taking tomorrow off and going with them to Playland.

My brother hates big crowds, which is why he rarely comes to Vancouver. We started talking regularly lately, which prompted this trip.

It started around my sister's wedding when we got into a huge argument prior to as he was threatening not to attend.

My parents were visiting him this weekend and when they were packing up to go home, he asked them to stay and look after the house while they were gone so the parentals will be there until Thursday.

It was his birthday yesterday too and Dad went out with them to karaoke and won first place while Mom stayed home and spent quality time with the grandkids.

I spent the better part of yesterday cleaning up my room, cleaning up the guest room, fixing beds and doing laundry. I've been trying to get my bedroom in a condition that assists sleep and relaxation. With how busy work is, I've found it's getting harder to turn the brain off and just relax. At all hours I'm thinking of different work projects.

Sometimes you feel like you're drowning in a sea of work. Thankfully I had a productive meeting on Wednesday for once and see a project I'm working on getting the results I want.

I was planning a trip to New York, seriously, for September but recent car problems may hinder that. Along with buying furniture to get the bedroom I want, I'm also trying to get my car in tip top shape before putting it out to pasture. With that, I brought it in to get it diagnosed and the dudes told me I needed a new transmission. Huh?

Obviously I don't believe a word they say so I paid the diagnostic fees and set up an appointment with a transmission specialist that I found via the yellow pages and checked out comments made about them. Wish me luck! My brother thinks it's just a fuel pump problem which will cost maybe $600 compared to a transmission problem that costs $2000.

I plan on blogging more, but it'll have to wait until after my brother leaves. They'll be taking over my bedroom during their stay since my room totally rocks. I have the big bed and the big screen TV.

I just need to finish cleaning it up a bit.

2008.173

2008-07-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to make excuses for not blogging. You've heard them all already.

Truth be told I just don't have the time and put together cognitive thoughts on what's on my mind and what's going on.

Work is starting to take up a lot of my time. There are days where I long for my boring government job that required no thought.

A few days ago I found myself awake at 12:30 am, sending an email to some co-workers about a policy position we could be taking.

Tonight, I'll find myself reviewing a proposal and offering my thoughts on it as it's suddenly become an emergency.

Thankfully the meeting tomorrow I was scheduled to attend was cancelled. It gives me time to do some work that's been backing up.

Then there's the drama. Not with my own staff but with other organizations staff.

I am privy, quite frequently, to confidential information, not for public consumption, etc. I was made aware of one a couple of weeks ago. I provided my input.

I was at a meeting with a member, through past work, that allowed me to assume she was aware of the "confidential" information as well. We were reviewing documents and I casually mentioned one of the documents will eventually be aided by a project coming down the pipe. She perked up, asking me what I was talking about. Grilled, in fact. Because the project was allegedly "confidential" I didn't mention it specifically. Then she started asking specific questions. So I outright asked her, "do you know what this is about?" And she said with a lot of snark, "Yeah but I'm wondering how YOU got a copy of it." And I said, "because it's my job."

You'd figure it would have ended there. Then I called her out on her ineffectiveness to move on a project and get the coordinators to be more cooperative and actually do what they're being paid to do.

Because of that, she goes and tell her boss some over-the-top version of our discussion. Suddenly, her boss is contacting my boss's boss who wants me "reprimanded" or fired or whatever because she's now in danger of losing her job since I apparently posted the project on youtube or published it on some communal website or emailed it to everyone in the province and posted it in my facebook groups.

So, before a meeting yesterday with some other organization, my supervisor asks me to wait for her outside. You just know something's up. She asks me what I said at this meeting, blah blah blah. I need clarification on the meeting since I've been to a buttload of them. Then it was all "Oh my God" drama queen high maintenance insecure idiot alert.

I tell her what happened and she was, "I knew it." So now she has to go back to our top boss who will then go back to the other person who will then filter it down to the idiot that started this shit. HIGH SCHOOL!

How about be professional. How about use common sense. It had me seething the rest of the day. And I have a meeting with her on Monday now too. The gloves are off.

Then, to top it off, this person that was supposed to be working on all our national files quit citing "personal reasons". Yeah, how about the fact that you were trying to get me to do half your work for you while you get all of the reward. I swear, one time he emailed/called me 5 times in one day. Thankfully for me it was the week that I didn't have access to my blackberry, therefore didn't have access to my phone so didn't know I was missing it all. He wanted me to write a report so that he could present it to someone and claim it as his own and then attend the meeting in Ontario and present it as his own. I guess since he couldn't reach me he tried reaching another co-worker and said co-worker refused and told him, "it's your job to do that".

The problem with all of this is someone has to pick up the load. My boss thinks it may have to be me since I'd been involved with it in the past and won't have to be briefed or updated on everything. Which means more trips outside the province. Right when I was grateful someone else took this shit over. And it may come as soon as a couple of weeks. Which sucks.

On a positive note, I'm taking a couple of days off next week. My brother and his family are coming for a couple of days. They'll spend one full day here, along with one evening and one morning. Which bodes well since my roommate will be gone all next week so it'll be nice to have company. I'm buying passes to Playland for the day they're here and we may check out a movie the night they get here. We'll see what happens. They only have a few days and he'd rather come now than later in the summer when the city gets crazy.

2008.172

2008-07-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

When the mail came yesterday I noticed an envelope from Perth, Australia. I opened it and found out I got a photo radar ticket! Apparently I was going SEVEN kms over the posted speed limit of 60 km. Un-freakin-believable. Seven? I mean, seriously? Here so long as you're within 10, it's all good. Which reminds me, I have a speeding ticket here for going 20 km over the speed limit (70 in a 50). Obviously I'm not going to pay it. If they get my credit card information from the car rental company and charge it, I don't care.

And this is all more evidence that New Zealand is a much better country than Australia.

2008.172

2008-07-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Some people just can't seem to let go.

My sister, by all accounts, has a great life. She just got married to a man she loves, who supports her, they bought a house, she's a stay at home mom, she does what she wants whenever she wants.

But man, can she hold a grudge. Like nobody's business. Because of something one our cousins said a few years ago, my sister has strongly disliked her and if given the chance, would probably punch her in the face.

Our cousin doesn't have much. If anything. She's actually a bit pathetic, truth be told.

She needed a ride home one day and approached my parents asking them for a lift. My parents would probably give a ride home to someone that murdered one of us, since they're really incapable of hating and holding a grudge. That's not true but you get the point.

My sister found out my parents gave said cousin a ride and is now mad at Mom because of it.

So she ends up telling me and I told her, I try to live my life by Dr. King's motto, "it's easy to hate, it takes strength to love." To which my sister replied she'll take the easy way out.

You put the two side by side and my sister is miles ahead in all measurable things we define as the quality of life. Yet she still holds a grudge. Can't let go.

So, I've been sitting here thinking of people I hate and I really can't think of anyone I hold a grudge against.

I'm sure there are people out there who don't like me for various reasons. I certainly don't lose sleep over it. And I don't lose sleep over people who I may believe have done me wrong, and there are a far bit.

I read somewhere that oil may possibly reach $300 a barrel. I'm holding off buying a vehicle I want until I do more research on fuel efficiency + what my "style" is. I'm looking at a Mitsubishi Outlander now.

One of the best purchases I've made is a subscription to Consumer's Report.

We were supposed to go to Scotland for Christmas. After second thoughts, we wondered why we're going to a place that'd be as equally cold as Canada and now we're leaning towards renting a house/condo in Hawaii for two weeks during the winter break. With the US economy tanking, it may be a cheap alternative and we'll save Scotland/Ireland for the spring when it's a more sane and warm time to go.

2008.171

2008-07-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

I still haven't decided.

It's between the Rogue, Liberty, RT, Escape.

And I'm hoping the NHL releases the season schedule soon. I'm seriously jonesing for it.

2008.170

2008-07-06T11:04:00.001-07:00

I've been car shopping.

I thought that I'd get something domestic but some of the foreign cars are starting to look nice to me.

So far I've checked out the Hyundai Tuscon, Ford Escape, Nissan Rogue, Subaru Forester, and Ford Edge.

The Edge is my favourite but it's $3,000 over what I'm willing to pay. Which is sad, but that's life. If I started making exceptions to self-imposed rules, I'd wind up looking at BMW's, etc. And then suddenly a $30,000 maximum is turning into a $50,000 maximum and then it's all crazy. Unless I married rich or won a lottery, I think it's pretty ridiculous to be spending anywhere near that kind of money for a vehicle. Heck, even $30k is a bit much, truth be told.

So, even though the Edge is my favourite - it has TWO sunroofs! - the dealers aren't willing to go lower than the "ford family price" plan. Blah.

So, the Rogue is of similar design to the Edge but smaller. And only one sunroof. Man what a chore it was talking to the dude at Nissan.

My only two absolute requirements on a vehicle are apparently: red (my Mom's favourite colour) and a sunroof. The rest I can live without, pretty much because the features I like (power windows, keyless entry, power door locks, anti-theft device, are all standard.

If I can't get it in red, I want it in blue (GO OILERS!), and the final colour being black.

But, with regard to the Rogue, their colour of red was a nice one (not flame red) and they had one on the lot with everything I liked. Except the price was $30,000.00. Right at my breaking point. And since the Hyundai people were going to give me $4,000.00 off the ticket price of $28,000, I wanted the Nissan people to do the same. He wouldn't budge. $30k is the price of the vehicle, no matter what. WHAT?! Who ever believes sticker price. He kept saying I had to sit down with his manager and talk about the price. I said, "Look, just tell me the rock bottom price you can go on a red car with a sunroof." No. He kept saying I had to talk to his manager. No, I don't "have" to talk to anyone. Then he started taking us to different used vehicles. Why the hell would I want a used infiniti with 70,000 kms on it? One year of driving, suddenly my "new" vehicle is at 100,000 kms! No thanks.

I finally said, "Look, just tell me if you can sell me the Rogue you have right there for $27k, yes or no." He finally said yes but by then I was irritated. And I'm even more irritated now after looking online and seeing you can buy one in the states, same vehicle, same specifications for $22,000! That's $5,000 on the sticker price alone for the "deal" I negotiated. I'm trying to figure out why they car prices are different.

At any rate, I didn't get to take the Rogue for a test drive and I want to so we're heading out to another dealer to take it for a spin. By the end of next week I should have made my choice. Yes, it takes me that long. I have to weigh the pros and cons, the likes and dislikes of each vehicle. The prices, the options, what I can live with. I don't want to, in 3 months, decide that I bought the wrong car. With my Mustang, my beloved Mustang, it was an easy choice. A mustang convertible. Nothing else. There was no shopping around, doing price comparisons, options, colour, etc. It's different. I'm an adult, I want to make a responsible decision. And then I'm hitting the road! I may go visit my sister for a few days sometime this summer. It'll definitely be making the trek to the Gorge.

Man this Federer/Nadal match is a good one.

2008.169

2008-07-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

You know what I dislike? People that think they're right when it's oh so obvious they're very wrong. And when they realize they're wrong, they try take a different approach to make it seem like you don't know what you're talking about.

I'm am the #1 expert in knowing what is good for me and what isn't. I may not make the right choices regarding that, but I do know when an environment is toxic.

And I hate going into a situation where I don't know what's going on. It's like going to a new school when everyone in class has been friends since kindergarten.

So, you're the new kid and they all have this relationship and this rapport and you're sitting there with a thumb up your ass.

Thankfully, I'm paid enough to still go and still leave a mark.

The meetings I attended in Victoria weren't bad, all things considered. Quite a bit of us ended up on the same ferry coming back to Vancouver.

I am quiet at meetings. Shocking, I know. But I've always been taught - aside from my mindless rambling on this blog - that you should only speak when you have something important to say in meetings otherwise you're wasting everyone's time.

A lot of people haven't mastered that. They ramble, they ramble, and they ramble some more.

I kid you not, there was a 10 minute discussion on whether or not to remove an "s" from a word.

TEN MINUTES

I wanted to blow my brians out.

Even later on when we were going over acroynms, everyone knew what one stood for but they still decided to debate the matter. I finally spoke up and said, "can we just all agree to stop wasting time and admit we all know what it stands for?" which was met with nervous laughter because people don't like being told they're a bunc of freaking idiot control freaks.

Given my extensive travels, here's how I judge hotel rooms, regardless of how many diamonds legitimate sources give them:

1. Beds: if they're crap beds, it's a crap hotel, I don't care if they have 4 diamonds
2. TV: if they're not up to speed with the flat panels, I judge them harshly
3. Internet: I give half a point to those that have wired internet but very few. If they're, again, not up to speed with wireless internet, I think they suck. After a long day of meetings, the last thing you want is to be sitting at a stuffy desk in another uncomfortable chair.
4. hairdryer: if they're too cheap to get one with power, I think they suck.
5. newspaper: the only paper I read now is the globe and mail so if you have some stupid National Post or worse, Vancouver Sun, I will do my best never to stay at your hotel again.

So, the hotel I stayed at would get 2.5 out of 5, because the bed was nice (king-sized), they had wired internet and the globe and mail.

2008.168

2008-07-04T07:43:00.001-07:00

I've been out of town the last few days.

I went to sleep early at the hotel the night before and woke up to a text message:

Awe you should. If you want me to leave alone, like for good. You say the word. I just like talking to you :) and just like you in general :)

Huh?

I haven't told anyone to fuck off lately. Or have I? I really had to go back in memory and think of people who have pissed me off. I couldn't find anyone. Which is odd in and of itself.

So I sent a text message back:

umm..who are you? I think you sent your message to the wrong number

The reply:

Sorry I definately (sic) had the wrong number . . Haha wow glad i did . . I'm never drinking again

Okay those were pretty freaking funny. A couple of more texts were exchanged with me laughing at the fool.

I'm thinking of skipping the hybrid. I want a new vehicle now and not six months from now. I'm looking at various models, not married to any, loyal to none. I'll probably go out to the automall tomorrow and look at various types and if one fits, I'll get it. Colour is important. I'm leaning towards black, blue or red.

2008.167

2008-07-01T03:56:00.000-07:00

So it's 3:57 am on Canada Day. I just got home. I'm completely sober. A friend called me at about 10:30 asking what I'm doing. My answer's always, "watching Law & Order" because one of the Law & Order shows is always on one of the channels. He wanted to go play poker at the casino and asked if I'd come along. I was wide awake so I said sure. He swung by, picked me up and off we went.

I was a bit nervous. I've never played poker in a casino before. I've played in one tournament that cost me $80 and a couple of home games that cost me $20 each. Nothing major. But these tables were $1 - $2 no limit. So someone can sit down with $1000 (I think) and suddenly have the chip lead and bully the pot. Actually everyone was playing with $100. My friend sat down before me so I watched and tried to assess players while waiting for a seat.

It seemed a few of the guys knew each other so they're obviously regulars.

About half an hour after my friend started playing, a seat opened up for me at his table.

I had some pretty decent hands. At one point I was up to $250 - my initial $100 buy-in. Not bad. My downfall was pocket twos when a dude went all-in. I've watched entirely too much TV where the pros are singing the praises of pocket 2's so I called. Plus the call was $99. How could Wayne Gretzky do me wrong? He had pocket 10's. I was praying for a 2 so I can get trips on the flop, then the turn, then the river. No luck. So I was down to a $50 profit.

I started playing tight. Folding aces at times if it wasn't suited and the kicker didn't work for me.

The final hand I had A, J off-suit. On the flop there was a jack. Since I had a nice kicker I went all in. My friend called. He had a nut flush. Another dude called with a low flush. I just had to pray for no more clubs to pop up on the turn and river or I'd be out. Well. No clubs showed up so I won the hand. Whew. What a rush. I can see why this can be addicting. I ended up walking out with a profit of $270.00. Not bad for a couple of hours work. I was up and down all night but ended on the up.

It was fun. I'm going to do my best not to make it a habit.

Should be an interesting day today what with it being free agency in the NHL. I've read some pretty wild rumours about what the Oilers may do. Honestly, I don't think they need that much work. Another forward to pick up some slack for Horc and a winger who can take a pass from Hemmer and put it in the net and we're good to go.

I've been cleaning like crazy. I keep far too many papers. Receipts for things that I bought a year ago just to keep a receipt. I spent most of the day shredding. Letting go. No need to keep crap. I have two end tables that are just full of crap. I had a suitcase full of paper. All shredded. If I haven't looked at it, thought about it, or read it in the past year, it's gotta go.

2008.166

2008-06-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

I have nothing new to write about.

The weather has been brutal!

I stopped by Safeway's meat department and was met by a new meat guy. He's kind of cute. We talked for a bit about the weather. He likes it really hot. I like it mildly warm. He said it could be hotter than this. I told him I'm a northern BC girl, I prefer an environment that offers mild weather conditions in all four seasons.

I'm re-arranging my room. Buying new furniture. Ikea is nice and air conditioned. But crazy assed busy 99% of the time. It makes you want to punch people in the face for being rude.

I have to go back today/tomorrow to buy a bedframe.

Then I'm off to Victoria for a few days of work.

Back to shredding paper and cleaning up crap that's been sitting around here for far too long.

I need a vacation from this heat.

And before some little twit says it isn't all that hot, it's all relative. I've never had to live in 40+ heat so obviously I'm not acclimatized to such weather. Nor am I prepared for 26 degree weather plus 50% humidity.

I don't give a crap if it's 3000 degrees in some bangladeshi prison.

The Oilers made a pretty big trade yesterday.

I read a blog where the person rants about those dedicated to sports teams given they have no "vested interest".

Isn't that how it is about practically everything in life though? We don't have a vested interest, per se, in a green climate, so why bother?

We don't have a vested interest in the sham of elections in Zimbabwe, so why write about it?

We don't have a vested interest in a musician or their music, so why should we care what's going on in their lives or what their opinions are?

Down to it's very core, we don't have a vested interest in anything beyond our immediate family, friends and the place where we live.

Yet we get excited about a lot of things. That we have no vested interest in. It's what life is all about. Spouting rhetoric and opinion about things we have no vested interest in. I'll also point out the irony of someone who has no vested interest in sports or people who have a "fanatical" view on sports while you have no vested interest in their lives is very ironic.

To that end, I can't wait for the new hockey season to begin. I'm sad that Pitkanen may be on the way out given the Visnvosky trade. I'm sad that Stoll is gone. I thought he was our best face-off man on MY team. Greene was finally coming into his own as a defenseman so I'm sad to see him go too. I am happy that tomorrow Katz takes over ownership of my team and I think this latest trade is something that he okayed as well. It'll be an interesting year ahead.

And I look forward to when I have a vested interest through another round of mini-paks and eventually season tickets.

Because I'm an Oiler fanatic. And I make no apologies for loving the sport. It's better than loving alcohol, scandalous relationships and developing a crystal meth problem.

Everyone has vices. Being a hockey fanatic just happens to be mine. It bothers nobody. No kids are starving because momma is supporting her habit. Granted, work is missed occasionally, but it's comp time for all the overtime I put in.

With that, Go Oilers Go!!!

2008.165

2008-06-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

Blogging can be rather...unique.

Wednesday I saw one of the bloggers on facebook have a message that said he was tentless, etc. Because he's sarcastic 99% of the time I wasn't sure if he was serious. Turns out he was. Turns out I also have a tent I use once a year for DMB concerts in Washington. So, we arranged a drop-off for Thursday. We met up, chatted for all of a minute then off in different directions. It's something I'd do with a friend in the middle of the day, despite being crazy busy.

Then, last night another blogger was having a fundraiser so I called up another friend and invited him out for burgers and beer.

Two bloggers, two events, one day.

In a million years, I'd never have believed I would be associating with internet people yet one has my tent and another has about $60 of my money.

Long day today at work. Was down at my old office meeting with former co-workers who are still public servants. Weird. It can be exhausting. I'm constantly asked when I'm coming back even though I've said over and over that I'm never going back.

I've taken Monday off work so it's a super long weekend and then Wednesday morning I'm off to Victoria for two days.

I have 44 proposals to read. Good times!

2008.164

2008-06-26T14:00:00.001-07:00

I'm severely irritated.

I did this project that took months to do. It involved getting detailed information about a certain subject and reviewing mock-ups and layouts then revising information, etc., etc. The information had to be accurate. Exact. To the point and in layman's terms so as not to confuse people who will then be getting the information.

In that regard, I was trying to collaborate with a provincial agency who will remain unnamed. We met a couple of times and I again reminded her of the collaboration and she feigned excitement. She said they didn't have advertising dollars to let people know about their program and my project would be of great assistance. Blah blah blah.

Fast forward to the end of March. I finally received a good enough mock-up from the printers and I sent her the draft to review and add her information before final print.

I didn't hear back from her.

I emailed again.

No response.

I called and left a message. Nothing.

Before I went on vacation, I decided eff it, this needs to go to print without them. When I got back we had all the copies ready for distribution.

Well, today, one of my co-workers finally looked at it and thought, "hey, I should hook her up with these provincial person I know who works in that area." It was kind of him and he sent the email to both of us.

As I was driving to the office, I sent him a short message saying I'll discuss this with him when I get there.

Meanwhile, he gets an email from her saying I contacted her once and she never heard from me again.

LIAR!

So when I got to the office I told him what happened and he was surprised and then told me about the email.

I was pissed. And the longer I thought about it the more pissed I became. Then I decided to put her in her place as she was basically trying to cover her ass by making me look bad.

I ended up sending out an email advising David that she and I knew each other - and included her on the email as well - and how many times I tried reaching her to no avail, etc.

I can't wait to see her at a meeting. Eat shit.

First, when I say I want to include someone in a project I'm working on, it means I'll work with them. If it helps advance a cause I'm working on, I don't care if I don't get credit for it so long as it's a great job that's done.

Our office has finally settled into a nice niche where everyone gets along and everyone helps. It's a great team to work with and for.

So some stupid idiot tries to go behind my back and tell a co-worker that I excluded them from a project and expect him to not talk to me or attempt to make me look bad to him? FUCK THAT!

My email was borderline passive but definitely aggressive.

I actually met with one of her colleagues yesterday and told her I wasn't impressed.

It's not wise to make me angry. I can't turn Hulk green and smash things but I can let others know and then word can get back and she's suddenly on the outs because you really shouldn't piss me off.

2008.163

2008-06-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

I'm back home. In Vancouver.

What a crazy trip. It involved watching soccer, going to Aboriginal Day celebrations, a double-header at the drive-in, a 5 hour drive home, another hour drive to a meeting, a late night at a bar with 3 of my colleagues and my cousin.

An early morning meeting that turned into an all-day meeting that lead to a radio interview, dinner and a late flight back.

I have to pick my car up in half an hour and drive out to Richmond for a meeting I set up that I wish I didn't since I'm too freakin' exhausted to be of any use. I can't cancel since she's flown in for this meeting.

I have my $100 "climate" cheque from the BC gov't. Of course they'll take it all back with their carbon tax. I don't care. If the money they're taxing us is to go towards environmental programs I'm all for it. I've already started making changes to how I do "business" so as to leave a smaller environmental footprint. We all should. Maybe I'll use my $100 to go towards the down payment of a new hybrid. Did you know the Ford Escape Hybrid is the 4th vehicle on the top 10 list of fuel efficient vehicles?

2008.162

2008-06-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

So, last week, I asked a question of a blogger that I thought would merit a serious answer. It was a question I posed about why Aboriginal (Indigenous) populations get so few press despite the horrible living conditions and the history of abuse faced at the hands of governments.

The answer I received was disappointing. Shallow, even. I may stop reading the blog. I don't know. I have it on my RSS reader and I haven't figured out how to delete it.

The fact is, 90% of the population don't understand the struggles of Indigenous people the world over. North America being the worst.

I used to be a fighter. I'm tired of fighting. I used to read the globe and comment section all the time whenever they posted an article on First Nations in Canada. Take for example, the apology by the Prime Minister and various leaders in the House of Commons. I read some of the comments and it was the same as it was last year, and the year before that: $10 billion "wasted" on "indians". "Indians" being lazy, drunks, no-good. And I'm tired of fighting that ignorance.

I was in a meeting a few weeks ago with First Nations people who are brilliant. So brilliant, in fact, I questioned why I was there. These brilliant people were working in areas that would move the quality of life forward for their people quickly. They talked about stories on why they ended up in the field they were in. Why they were passionate. Why they still fight the fight.

It was an amazing display and I was lucky to be amongst them. You never hear about them in the news. You just hear the easy fluff stories where we're wasting taxpayer money and being a thorn in the side of the taxpayers of Canada who pay for everything.

And it makes my ass tired. The fact is, First Nations Peoples shouldn't have to pay taxes. They already have paid, and continue to pay, enough through the resources that are being stripped from their territories. All that mining, oil and forestry exploration is on territory still in dispute. Imagine if I came in and claimed half your house and then told you you'd have to pay me for the part of the house that is now mine. And that you'd have to negotiate to get the house returned to you, but you'd never fully get it all back. I'd continue to benefit from the use of something I took unjustly and you'd continue to pay the price.

Wonder why education is so hard to get? Because of residential schools. People don't trust a system that almost destroyed a culture.

Want to know why there are rabid health problems? People don't trust doctors.

You always read in the comments of how this all happened 100 years or more ago so get over it. It didn't. My parents are still alive and they suffered from residential school. Imagine a community where there are no children running, laughing, playing. That's what happened in communities. Imagine being raped, beaten, spiritually abused, neglected, being forced to eat rotten food, sent out to work in fields. Killed. That didn't happen 100 years ago. The last residential school closed down in the 1990s. Yes. You read that right. Even while you were getting your education, children were still being taken away from their parents.

Think it's ended? Think again. More children are being taken away from their homes and families today than they were doing the residential school days. More children are in the department of social services being raised by people not their parents or relatives. Think they'll be taught their culture? Think again.

Do I want pity? No. I'm one of the lucky ones. I know where I come from. Most of the time, I know where I'm going. I grew up with the love and security of my parents who vowed, "never again". Never will their children be taken. Never will their children be abused. Never will their children be felt like they weren't loved. I'm lucky. Not many of my people were.

And instead of this type of reply from a prominent blogger, I was met with a semi-sarcastic response. Which is disappointing. I admire people who aren't afraid to put themselves out there and speak of injustices. I admire people who have struggled and help others overcome their struggles.

I admire very few people.

And this is why.

An opportunity was squandered. And I am disappointed. But I'm not surprised.

I've found the more popular blogs are filled with self-congratulation and grandeur. Where it's one big circle-jerk of people trying to maintain a persona, an image.

And it disgusts me. But it doesn't surprise me. Nothing does.

2008.161

2008-06-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

More car problems. Whatever a ball joint is. Luckily I wasn't driving 100 km/h at the time. Or whatever. BCAA sent a very nice mechanic since I wasn't sure what all the scraping noise was. We discussed the "crooks" at ICBC, how he drives around all day and it sucks when he's stuck out in Maple Ridge at the end of a shift because he lives in Richmond.

This is going to cost me a few hundred dollars.

I think I'm going to just bite the bullet and put in an order for a Hybrid. Maybe. I'm going home this weekend so I'll check out dealers back there and get my Dad to negotiate prices etc., since he's better at that than I am. If the fuel efficiency and environmental impact is the same for a Ford Escape and a Ford Fusion, I may go for a Fusion. Ditto for a Malibu Hybrid. It's time to keep holding onto this car. It's crying to me for a break and I have to stop being selfish.

We had so much fun when we went out a few nights ago. I swear my side was killing me with all the laughing I did. I wasn't even drinking. My friends were and two of them just met each other.

They decided we're going to New York but for whatever reason they felt we were too poor to afford a hotel on our own so they were plotting ways to get people to pay for us.

I picked one of my colleagues up for our meetings. His wife and I have known each other since the Liberal leadership convention. It's just how small the world is that her husband now works for one of the organizations I work closely with. We discussed how drunk his wife and another colleague got and he said he was amused that they were acting like they couldn't afford to go to NYC on their own with all their scheming. I laughed because my co-worker owes about 8 days of o/t before she can start banking more overtime to be able to take time off yet they're planning us to got NYC in August.

I'm thinking I'll go in September. Tickets to see DMB are about $220 each but it's a benefit concert so I just may go. Just trying to figure out the average hotel rate for about 5/6 days.

Stephane Dion made me proud today and I hope Canadians see what I see in the man. He's not afraid to do something that is right, that helps Canadians AND helps the environment. This is why I voted for him. This is why I will vote for him.

2008.160

2008-06-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

These past couple of days have been freakin' exhausting.

I bought a couple of salmon fillets for dinner.

I started grilling them.

Then fell asleep.

And they burnt.

And buying salmon fillets aren't cheap.

What a freakin' waste.

I was talking to a co-worker during a coffee break. Her relationship isn't going well. But she doesn't want to end it because of how it may hurt her boyfriend even though he's a great guy but they have nothing in common anymore. I asked her if he would care about her feelings if he thought they weren't right for each other anymore. She thought about it and realized that he wouldn't. He'd ditch her in a hearbeat. Yet there she is, staying in something that isn't healthy for her because of someone else's feelings.

A month ago I asked a co-worker what she was thinking when she got engaged. She then broke off her engagement. Now she's postponed it.

Why do people listen to me?

I told my co-worker, "I don't know why people listen to me. The most successful relationship I've had has been with the Edmonton Oilers." Another co-worker was walking by and gave a funny look and laughed saying, "what a bizarre time to be walking in on a conversation."

2008.159

2008-06-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

The server migration at work was full of hitches. Chief amongst those is the fact it wasn't completed this weekend. This meant no blackberry or work access.

Now, I know the blackberry is usually called, "crackberry" as it shows the worst of our dependence on technology and the news showing the worst of the users. Those that email and access their blackberry like it's water and they just crossed the desert.

To put this in perspective, I sit on many different committees, all of which are pretty active. I get emails constantly from people regarding input on different stages of drafting materials.

We're also moving pretty quickly on a couple of projects at work and my co-workers rely on me to review their materials to make sure it sticks to "corporate" message.

I rely on my blackberry for scheduling my appointments. I have so many meetings that it's hard to keep track of all of them. I used to be able to rely simply on memory but when you have meetings on the same day, it's easy to confuse which is where. When I'm blocking off sections in my calendar, I use the "alarm" feature on my blackberry to notify me of meetings that begin in an hour. With the hour alarm it gives me plenty of time to get to my destination.

Unbeknownst to me, I had such an appointment this morning at 9:30. I was sure that the meeting wasn't until the afternoon but it was changed last week and I just accepted it believing I'd remember. I got a phone call this morning on my home phone saying, "Aren't you coming over?" HUH? That's when I missed my blackberry. Nothing notified me about my pending meeting.

I missed my laptop because we have templates for meetings, reports, power point presentations, etc. I needed to do some work with microsoft's powerpoint program. My Mac doesn't have the program. I don't use it personally. So I was stuck at the office all day using someone else's laptop to finish off some reports needed for tomorrow.

My blackberry still isn't ready. I'm hoping it's ready tomorrow. I don't mind being without it on weekends but during the weekday, because I work from home, it's a live connection to the office. It's also my cellphone contact with people throughout the country. It's how people reach me. Without it, I have no connection to anyone and if you're trying to reach me, I wouldn't know. Like all things, you have to use the blackberry in moderation. But being a worker from home, it's vital during the work week.

I'm in meetings away from the office for the next two days and if an emergency pops up, I'll be none the wiser. Should be interesting.

2008.158

2008-06-15T22:58:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I want to go on vacation.

I just fel the desire to hop on a plane and go somewhere.

Sadly, work is hindering any plans.

I am going home this coming weekend though. I have meetings close to home the following Tuesday. Friday was supposed to be a day off but since I have meetings, I'm taking Monday off and attending to the meeting on Tuesday/Wednesday. It'll give me a few days at the parentals.

But that's not a vacation.

I thought about Vegas. Some friends are going in August but it's too hot in August.

I'm seriously contemplating New York. Dave Matthews Band has a concert at Madison Square Garden on September 10. I could fly out, theoretically on the Tuesday for the Wednesday show and come back on the Sunday. It'll give me a weekend in the Big Apple.

Flight costs are pretty reasonable. Room rates are jack high right now but that's to be expected given the months in advance. If I can get a room somewhere nice for under 200 a night, I'll be happy.

September's so far off though. Maybe I'll go down to Seattle for a few days and pretend it's somewhere spectacular.

Man I want to go back to New Zealand.

2008.157

2008-06-12T15:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a long and emotionally - and physically - draining day.

I had to sit in on an interview from 10 - 11. I then had a teleconference from 11 - 12. I hung up at about 11:45 because it was just people babbling and being self-congratulatory.

Then I was at one of the many sites Aboriginals gathered to listen to the formal apology given by the government of Canada to Aboriginals for the residential school fiasco - for lack of a better word.

I sat and listened to Harper. I looked out at survivors sitting amongst premiers, various MLA's and city officials, etc. Sitting amongst their children and grandchildren and wiping away their tears.

I phoned my parents to hear them fighting back tears, having thought they cried enough but reliving some experiences they had in such residential schools.

I turned on the radio to listen to the news, thinking I'd hear commentary from various people on what a truly historic day this was. One hundred years in the making. Proof, finally, to all those who believed Aboriginals became alcoholics by choice, that their dysfunction was by choice, that the reserve system was their choice.

Instead, the leading story in the news on all major radio stations in this city was Trevor Linden retiring. Sure he meant a lot to this city but his retirement more newsworthy than an historic apology from a government that attempted to commit cultural genocide on over 100,000 Indigenous Peoples in this country? The attempted genocide still having a far reaching impact on social problems this country has? And it gets put to the back of the newscasts?

I was never more disgusted.

I came home and waited for the news, thinking it too would be put on the backburner. I commend Global, a station that I usually tune out because I think they're idiots, as they lead their broadcast with stories from across the country. CTV - the new owners of Canada's "second national anthem" - didn't. Fuckers.

It's a fight I don't talk about often here, because I don't want to be just "the colour of my skin".

Blah.

Then I had a teleconference from 2:30 - 4:30. More grandstanding, blah blah blah.

Sometimes I really hate people and want to punch them in the face.

2008.156

2008-06-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

You know what pisses me off about women? They given in too easily. On practically everything.

Say you have a rule. And another person of the opposite gender has a rule. And those rules conflict. One has to bend. You know who's usually bending? The woman. She'll bend her philosophical ideals, her principles, her needs and her desires. She'll acquiesce. She'll sacrifice. She'll be the mediator, the one who gives in.

And that sets up the standards for the relationship. You give in once, you'll give in again and while the details may be small at first, the sacrifices minimal, eventually it'll be a bigger one and since she's always done it, she'll be expected to do it again and she will.

And then she slowly loses herself. Slowly becomes a person the other wasn't attracted to. The person who admired her because she was strong and principled and idealistic. And suddenly that's not who she is anymore.

And it's her own fault. If she stood her ground from the beginning, it may have taken a different turn.

But she didn't. So there she is, not who she once was. And when she realizes this, she'll have to decide whether it was for the better or did it just make things worse.

I'm trying to find a weekend that I can go to Toronto and hang out with my friends and it's not looking good.

I figured the long weekend we get next week but I have meetings on Friday and a meeting Tuesday. I'd usually take Friday off and come back Monday.

Then I thought July long weekend but I have meetings in Victoria the day after the long weekend. August long weekend may be a possibility. September isn't as family comes here and I go see Dave at the Gorge.

I may have to use some actual vacation days. First, I have to see if I have any days left of overtime.

I'm starting to feel a little pissed off again. Where's time going?

2008.155

2008-06-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

I figure I should post a picture of my brand new car:

I double booked meetings for Wednesday. I had to cancel one and made up a lame excuse to explain why I won't be going.

Work's been super busy lately. In fact, right up to the time of this post, I've been answering emails.

I'll also have to work next Friday when it's supposed to be a day off for the office. So I'll take Monday off instead.

This weekend is going to prove interesting. If you don't have a blackberry, there's this thing called "PIN". It's basically text messages over the blackberry. Where emails are obviously traceable through your company's server, PIN's aren't. Throughout the weekend staff/friends/people I don't know from other walks of life that have blackberrys will PIN. Well, because the office has grown so much over the past year, we need a new server at work. I got an email today - and so did everyone in our office - saying we MUST hand in all electronic equipment so they can be set up for the new server - laptop computers and blackberrys - by 4 pm Friday. That's a whole weekend where people cannot PIN or email. And you won't even be able to check emails on the remote server as they haven't corrected the problem what with server migration.

I want webcams set up of co-workers who are constantly on their blackberrys to see them go through withdrawals and everything. That'd be amusing.

After New Zealand, I detached myself from my blackberry.

Speaking of NZ, I have to phone my cellphone carrier. The bastards charged me with roaming web browser that cost about $90.00 when I didn't do any mobile browsing. Why the hell would I do that? Fuckers. I may threaten them with leaving again given Rogers will now be featuring the iPhone and you know I'm apple's bitch.

2008.154

2008-06-09T00:03:00.000-07:00

I'm falling behind again.

Honestly, the desire to blog is just not there. I'm not angry, bitter, etc. Well, I do get angry. Bitter, not so much. Jaded as ever.

But I have a job I enjoy, friends I actually like spending time with. I'm comfortable with life.

It was a certain someone's birthday the other day and I totally forgot. That's progress, right? The only reason I remembered was because I started reading news online and for some reason the date was supposed to mean something and I was worried I forgot a rugrats' birthday or something and then I clued in.

I have become a bit of a chicken shit when driving. If you've been in a car with me this probably makes you feel better. But when a light turns yellow I'm scared some asshole is going to hit me from behind.

When I'm going through an intersection, I'm scared a car's going to run a light or a stop sign. I'm even scared of people changing lanes.

So, I went car shopping on Saturday. The dealer had no malibu hybrids in stock. Saturn's Vue Hybrid doesn't look appealing to me and there's a 3 -4 month waitlist for a Ford Hybrid. I'm sure there's a Malibu around somewhere but another car doesn't appeal to me right now. I'm leaning towards an Escape Hybrid. I'll have to order a 2009 straight from the factory but it'd be the colour I want and have all the goods I want but it I wouldn't get it until September. And I'd have to put a grand down on it too. I know everyone's all gung ho about foreign cars and I don't understand it. Look at all the shit my poor car's been through and it's still out there doing what it's made to do. You see other cars just crumble under the pressure.

Meh.

So the tories are planning on running ads in Ontario AT THE PUMP talking about the Liberals' carbon tax plan without knowing exactly what the tax plan is and saying, "the Liberals want to raise taxes." EXCUSE THE EFF ME BUT THE LIBERALS ARE NOT IN POWER. How in High Heaven can they raise taxes when they're not the governing party? And what the hell are the conservatives doing? They say Ontario isn't a good investment and suddenly you have a vehicle plant shutting down and 2600 people out of jobs. That's 2600 mortgage/rent payments, credit cards, bills, car payments, other loans. It then starts branching out and infecting other sectors such as retailers, etc. The simple task of buying groceries, school clothes, paying your kids' tuition all comes into play. And the conservatives are doing nothing. But then nobody else is either. I'm getting fed up. I'd like to watch question period and see questions actually get answered instead of, "13 years of liberal rule". Well, the liberals had to clean up Mulroney's mess and unless we smarten up we're (as in Canadians) are going to have to pay the price.

It's a freakin' joke and I wish voters would look south and realize we're not immune to an economic downfall and we should be taking steps to soften the blow instead of just ranting and raving and creating stupid commercials that'll be playing while you fuel up your car. The conservatives do not know how to govern, they know how to condemn. It's time we condemn them out of government.

2008.153

2008-06-04T17:42:00.001-07:00

After going on a tear, I fell behind in posts again! Gah!

I've been enthralled with the Democrat primaries. I had meetings downtown and at the office yesterday and didn't really hang around to talk to people as I wanted to come home, turn on the TV and watch the last day of a long primary season.

What a night. What a speech. Hope.

2008.152

2008-06-03T01:27:00.001-07:00

Finally, this is Tane Mahuta aka Lord of the Forest. The biggest tree in New Zealand.

Per wiki:

"According to Maori mythology Tane is the son of Ranginui the sky father and Papatuanuku the earth mother. Tane was the child that tore his parent’s parental embrace and once done set about clothing his mother in the forest we have here today. All living creatures of the forest are regarded as Tane’s children."

It is a massive tree, I'll give you that. It's also protected. You can't get near it.

And with that, I'm caught up in posts. Boo yah.

2008.151

2008-06-03T01:22:00.001-07:00

One of the many beaches from the Bay of Islands. Seriously, how could you not love this place? This was from the boat tour I took. All beaches in New Zealand are public beaches. Even if there's a house right in front of it. You can visit from dawn until dusk but no camping. Any house that's for sale on the islands, the government gets right of first refusal.

2008.150

2008-06-03T01:18:00.001-07:00

Cape Reinga. Funny thing about the tour. There were about 3 other busses touring as well so our driver was always trying to get to the sites before the others did. Especially during some of the stops at stores. Some of the busses were the big tour busses. Ours was a VIP bus, that would let us get to places the other busses couldn't get to. I'm sure this picture would have been nice save for the clouds. On the walk BACK from the cape, it started raining a little but it got better once we started the descent down the "mountain".

2008.149

2008-06-03T01:15:00.001-07:00

Save for a few islands on this route, this is allegedly quick sand. The driver couldn't stop or we'd get stuck. He said they had to drive by vehicles where people were standing on top of their cars and they couldn't stop to help or they'd get stuck too. It also shows where the sliding ends and the road begins. One dude just narrowly missed going under a car after surfing down the sand.